A Story Of Feelings

Exposure

What did I just do. I just spilled everything. Every problem, every feeling, EVERYTHING! Shit, shit, what if they tell everyone!? What if they think I'm weird?Shit,shit,shit,shit!I feel naked, nothings there, my mask is in pieces, my shield is cracked beyond repair and my voice is raw and heavy with real emotions...

I did it again. I have to stop. This is going to end up killing me. I can't believe I did it again!? HOW STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO MAKE THE EXACT SAME MISTAKE TWICE!? THEY ARE GOING THROUGH SO MUCH MORE THAN I AM AND I'M THE ONE VENTING!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!?

I can't do this anymore. I meed to push them away, stop talking to them, don't look them in the eye, don't even bump into eachother in the corridors. Just stop all kind of contact. That'll give me time to repair the cracks and fix the breaks. I'll be back in no time.

Called to the counselor, made to get therapy, having a 3 HOUR 'WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU' TALK FROM MY PARENTS!? FOR FUCKS SAKE I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! IM DONE!

Dear family and friends

I'm sorry. I cracked and broke until I was unable to fix myself anymore. Please just remember that I loved all of you and that I'm going to be a lot happier where I am now. I couldn't deal with being exposed and easy to read.

-Love From, Me <3