Hate The Sin , Love The Sinner. - Salvis

Chapter 3: A New Friend

I added some things to travis's note

Tw: Abuse, manipulation, Gaslighting

January 17, 1992

Today was Tuesday. Travis's body was covered in bruises. He was tired out of his mind. It hurt so much. It hurt to move, it hurt to think about it. But it was all done out of the love of God.

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January 16, 1992 , 10:07 PM

"Travis lets go it's time to study the book of Leviticus downstairs." His dad yells from downstairs. I nod and come downstairs with my bible. I sit on the floor in front of the coffee table. "Now lets start off at Leviticus 18:22." I opened my Bible to the book of Leviticus. I sighed as I read the verse aloud "Do not practice Homosexuality,  Having sex with another man as with another woman. It is a detestable sin." I read out loud. "Good son." My father praised. "Father.." I was about to ask a question that could probably get my ass kicked. But I don't care. Because I need to know. I need to know what's so bad about being gay. I'm itching to find out. "Why do we have to hate the homosexuals.. they didn't do anything to us." My fathers face went from neutral to disgust. "Travis you're not turning your back on god are you.." He inched closer to my face angrily. "No!.. Never!" My father began to be upset "Why would you do this to me?!" I frowned "Father please I wasn't trying to side with them I was just curious!" My Father always does this. He always makes me feel bad. We both stood up. "Do you not love God? What did I do wrong?! I taught you how to love God why are you rejecting him!" I was angry. He was accusing me of things I never said! "I'm not!" I spoke loudly. Oh fuck. I was very fucked. "Did you just raise your voice at me?" I backed up as he inched closer to me step by step. "No Father, never!" He walked closer to me. My back hit the wall. "Travis. No son of mine will reject God. No son of mine will be disrespectful to me." He had me in a choke hold. "Yes sir. Please. Let go!" My father began to laugh. "Travis you cant just betray God and I without some sort of punishment." I gasped for air "Please! I didn't even say anything wrong! All I asked was why it was so wrong!" My Father cackled "Everything Travis! Why would you ever want anything to do with the homosexuals." My Father then became angrier. "Unless you are one!" I coughed and pulled at his hand trying to get it off. "No! Please.. I'm not I promise!!" My father always gets like this. He makes things a bigger deal than they are. My vision went blurry as I saw a fist come towards my face. After that was a blur. But I remember one thing after that and one thing only. "Travis i'm doing this because God loves you. As do I."

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January 17 , 1992 ,    8:00 AM 

Now he's walking to school. His body felt cold and weak as he dragged his feet against the floor. He reached the front of the school and walked in. His neck was sore and bruised. Today he chose to wear a purple turtle neck to cover the hand shaped bruise on his neck. Last time this happened everyone kept whispering about how the 'Jesus boy got laid.' When in fact he didn't. It was a darker truth.  Travis walked the crowded halls. Everything just felt miserable. His vision blurred in and out due to lack of sleep. He bumped into one of the senior guys. "Fucking move Jesus freak." Travis nodded groggily "Sorry." People started laughing and everything was just loud and bright. He hated this. He made it to Mrs Packerton's class. "Travis you're 30 minutes late! This is very unlike you." He sat down in his seat trying to not cry from the overwhelming sensation bubbling inside of him. Everyone was staring. His eyes were red and puffy.  There was a curious Sal in the back. He didn't know what to do for Travis because things seemed to be rough. "I feel bad for him." Sal whispered to Larry. Larry frowned. "Yeah he looks fucked up." Larry whispered back. Sal and Larry were staring at Travis at this point. Travis made eye contact with them. "What do you want?!" He groaned angrily at both of them causing all of the eyes in the class to go to him. "Nothing Jesus boy." Larry commented. Travis stood up angrily and headed to the back of the class, grabbing Larry by the collar of his shirt. "Don't call me fucking Jesus boy. If anything I don't believe in god anymore it's just my dad shoving it down my throat." Larry's eyes widened "Look man it was a jo-" Travis cut him off at this point yelling. "I don't care if it's a fucking joke! I am not my Dad." Travis pushed Larry gently, letting go of his collar. "And for all of you assholes who think my dad is a wonderful person you're fucking wrong! You know he does some fucked up shit but everybody turns a blind fucking eye just because he's 'One with god' when in fact he's not! He's just a sad piece of shit who only cares about his social reputation." Travis caught his breath and everyone was staring at him. Not in a mocking way, but in a shocked way. Travis felt tears spill down his face. He quickly wiped them and whispered "Fucking hell.." and walked out of the classroom. Mrs. Packerton was in pure shock. She coughed breaking the awful long silence. "Well class, Turn your textbooks to page 402." 

Travis ran to the bathroom. Sobbing furiously. He took out a piece of notebook paper and wrote. "I know we don't really know each other, and you probably have your opinions about me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different, the truth is i'm crazy about you. But I know these feelings I have for you are wrong considering your friends would hate me, and all of the shit iv'e done." All this guy wanted was a friend. And he thought maybe he could befriend Sal but that was fucked up for him. Just like everything in his life. Travis crumpled up the note and dropped it in the trashcan, not knowing he missed. 

"Mrs Packerton, May I use the restroom?" Sal asked. "Why yes of course Sal." She smiled sweetly as he got up from his chair. Sal walked towards the bathroom hoping to find out what is happening to Travis. Sal walked in quietly. He looked at the floor to find a crumpled up note. As nosy as he was, of course he read it.

. "I know we don't really know each other, and you probably have your opinions about me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different, the truth is i'm crazy about you. But I know these feelings for you are wrong considering your friends would hate me, and all of the shit iv'e done."

Sal heard soft crying from one of the stalls. "Anyone in there?" He called out in a hushed voice. Travis wiped his tears quickly and replied "No duh, fuckwad. Buzz off!" Travis snarled. "Travis, were you just crying a second ago?"  Travis felt relieved but decided to not get comfortable just yet. "Sally Face? I-- No! What the hell? Can't a guy get some privacy?" Sal frowned "It's okay to have emotions." Travis rolled his eyes "Yeah, for queers. Just leave me alone, alright?" Sal sighed "Why do you hate me so much?" Travis scoffed "Because you and your dumb friends are a bunch of homos! It's sick. It's not right." Sal sat down against the stall door. "You know...were not all gay. Except Todd. He's super gay." Sal paused "A-and that's part of who he is and I think that's wonderful, he's one of the kindest people I know. How could anyone hate Todd?" Sal sighed. "Look, I know your dad is tough on yo-" Travis unlocked the stall door. "Tough?" Travis chuckled. Sal sat on the floor inside the stall. "Sal. He hits me sometimes." Travis's eyes widened. Travis had over shared. "Travis i'm so sorry." Sal didn't know what to do for Travis. "Man. I just want a friend. I go here everyday and it's hell. I go home and it's hell. I'm just so tired." His voice began to break. "I'll be your friend Travis." Sal smiled under his mask. Travis sat on the same part of the stall floor with Sal. "Really? You're not fucking with me are you?"  Travis wiped his tears. "Of course not." Sal smiled and put a hand on Travis's shoulder. "What about Larry and your friends?" Travis asked. "They'll get used to it." Sal smiled under his mask. "You know I never thought you were a bad person." Sal stood up and put his hand out. "Now come on, it's time for lunch. You can sit with my friends and I." Travis smiled and took his hand to help him up. Sal let go of his hand once e was off and they headed to the cafeteria. 

As Sal walked with Travis, his friends gave him a weird look. "Dude Sal." Larry spoke being cut off immediately by Sal. "This is my new friend." Sal sat down patting the seat next to him. "I hope it's okay i'm here. And i'm sorry for being an asshole, I guess I was just insecure." Travis took a deep breath. "And I'm sorry Larry for being aggressive. I hope you can forgive me." Travis was far too used to apologizing. But this time it felt good to apologize. Ash smiled at Travis. "Hey, it's all good. Welcome to our table." She continued to eat her Bologna sandwich. Sal elbowed Larry's arm. "Right... uh... i'm sorry for calling you Jesus boy. It was very immature of me." Larry was glaring at Travis still not knowing if he should trust him. "And i'm sorry I pushed you last semester Todd." Travis smiled gently. Todd smiled "Thanks Travis! That means a lot to me." 

Travis finally made a friend! Actually, maybe even a few more!

Maybe this semester wont be that bad after all...

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