Hate The Sin , Love The Sinner. - Salvis

Chapter 1: Travis.

Here's some info about The book and I before you begin reading!!

My name is Sammi, I am a dude (He/Him) 

- This is a slow burn book!! It will take a while for their romance to blossom!

- There will be a bunch of music references here

- This book contains Abuse, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Sexual Topics and Suggestive Content, Gore, Self Harm. I will always add trigger warning for when those are coming up at the top of the chapter.

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1/16/92

I've always been a good kid. I went to Church, I prayed, I read my bible for hours, I even got baptized when I was nine. I loved God. But... Did he love me?  They say as a Christian your trials get harder, I guess it's God's way of showing he's there and that he knows you can get through it. The people at my Church tell me they can feel God in them. I thought maybe when I got older I could finally feel it. Maybe I could finally feel the grace of god in my bones and all around me, But I was wrong. He wasn't there. If he was everything wouldn't be so fucked. 

I'm Fifteen years old, Circa 1992. I've had my fair share of trials and difficulties thrown at me in my life but this one is different from everyone else. I have to stay silent about this one. From day one I have been taught "Hate The Sin , Love The Sinner." But i'm older now.  Church never taught me what to do if I happen to be the sinner. So now I pretend. That's what were taught to do right? My dad had always done it. He'd always pretend everything was okay at Church. Maybe because they treat him like a Saint there. Me personally, I've always Hated the attention. But like my father, I must also pretend. So I sit and smile like everything is okay. When it's not. 

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I shut my notebook and stuffed it in a slit I made in my mattress. "Travis, it's time for school." My Dad grumbled and walked away. I sat up and looked at my hands. They were slim, covered in bruises and blisters from writing all night. My bag hung from my back by one strap as I walked down the stairs. I peered into the kitchen to find my Mother and Father fighting over taxes. Again. No breakfast for me I guess. I shouted "Goodbye, i'm off to school." and shut the front door behind me. I walked to school to avoid having chats with my Father about how I need to be a 'Model dominant husband.' I hated those talks. He always told me that women are inferior and that God chose man to lead their household. He's a piece of shit. I walked down the empty street, the breeze tangled my hair. It was cold outside. January was normally the coldest it got for South Carolina. I looked down at my wrist watch as I approached the school. Just In time. I entered the School hopeful to make new friends. Last semester was a disaster, I just hope I can make a good friend or two. I made my way to my first period class. Mrs. Packerton. Avoiding any eye contact, I weaved through the crowd of teenagers in the hall until I reached the classroom. I was greeted by Mrs. Packerton. "Why hello Travis, How was your winter break?" She asked in a soft typical old lady voice. I smiled softly and replied "It was great, thank you for asking." She smiled and patted my shoulder "Tell your Father his Christmas Sermon was beautiful." I nodded and found my seat. I pulled out a notebook and doodled on the pages waiting for class to begin. The class was rather loud. Everyone catching up from over the break. I minded my own business. Nobody liked to talk to me. They had this idea that i'd critique everything they did because I come from a Christian background. I wish i'd just be quiet in here. Then all of a sudden. It was. I looked up to see a Girl wearing a mask and pigtails. Everyone started whispering. Mrs Packerton began to speak. "This is Sal, would you like to introduce yourself Sal?" The Girl nodded and began to speak. "I'm Sal. I'm a guy in case you couldn't tell." Travis's eyes widened. Holy shit that was a guy?! "Take off the mask freak!" Some guy in the back yelled, followed by laughter. Sal paused "It's a prosthetic." The laughing in the classroom came to an immediate stop. "Crap man... sorry." Sal shrugged his shoulders and sat towards the back. I didn't turn around to look at him, but I turned my eyes to see him. Maybe he could be my friend? "Yo how was your break Mrs P!" I hear come from someone from the front. Fuck. Larry Johnson. "Larry you're fifteen minutes late. Sit down." She scoffed. Larry nodded "Can do." Larry took the seat next to Sal and they began talking. Well. There goes my chance at a friend. Larry hated my guts. But I hated his too. He's an asshole. He tossed my Bible around like a toy in Seventh grade. My dad got pissed that it came home in such a bad condition. He also always reeked of Marijuana, or as he called it 'herb'. I don't partake in stoner slang. Travis frowned. Great now that's one more person I have to deal with in Larry's group of homos. I don't hate Gay people. In fact I don't really care. I just have to pretend to care. Or Father will discipline me again. When he disciplines me it hurts. He tells me it's out of love, and it's what god would want. I get disciplined over little things. Class seemed to end quickly. I stood up and stuffed my notebook in my backpack. "No snarky remark?" Larry chuckled. "Fuck off dickhead." I walked out of the classroom to my next class.

The Day flew by quickly. And soon enough I was on my way home. I walked up the driveway to the front door and walked inside. My dad was angry. I quickly grabbed my bible and headed to my room. That way he wouldn't discipline me. Every day is the same. I want out.

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1063 words.

Yikes this chapter kicked my ass LMAOO so sorry that it's not as amazing as my others.

take care <3

-Sammi