The Ingenue

Chapter 5

Kate stood in front of the gym doors waiting for Gabe to come out of the locker room. She had been up early with a quesy feeling and then random vomiting.
Kate heard the guys on the team inside changing out of their uniforms. The sound of laughter, cackling, and banter was somehow harmonious. But that smell... She felt a sudden urgency to vomit. The air smelled of wet grass, different colognes, sweaty armpits, and dirty socks. It seemed as if the pungent odor was being blown directly at her.  
      She took a few breaths and fanned her face with her notebook. The nausea was getting worse, and as she drew in another breath in hopes of catching fresh air,  her stomach contents evaded her mouth, and her small breakfast was now a puddle of emesis on the ground. She felt hot and sweaty. Her knees felt like jelly. 
     She sat on the wooden bench in the corridor about two feet from the gym door. Pulling out a bottle of water from her bag, she took a swig and quickly swallowed it. She could hear the banter in the locker room creeping closer and the slamming of the metal locker doors.
     She quickly grabbed a hoodie from her bag and tossed it on the puddle of regurgitated eggs, bacon, and orange juice. Quickly absorbing the liquid, she carefully folded the contents up into the hoodie and chucked it on the bench. Reaching down into the side pocket,  she grabbed at a familiar bottle of perfume, popped the cap off, and sprayed it 3 times in the air.
     "SHIT!" She muttered.  The scented air mixed with her vomit and the locker room odors made her nausea even worse. She had to get out of there. Looking up from her belongings, snatched them up and briskly headed to the girls' locker room across the hall.  
     Bashing through the door,  just as she could hear and feel the rumble of boys exiting their own gym area. She had barely slammed the heavy door shut as she heard Gabe call out, "Kate, where are you going?" Leaning her back against the warm wooden door, she finally could breathe. Out of nowhere, a feeling of embarrassment and shame came over her, and she realized that she was breathing rapidly as tears wet her hot cheeks.
     How can this have happened? What would he say? He said he loved her. Would he stand by her side or walk away? How could she possibly be a mom at 18? She hadn't even gotten her driver's license yet. 
     A knock startled her from her thoughts. She didn't answer but held her breath. Two more knocks, and she stood still, even holding her hand over her mouth. Then Gabe spoke. "Kate, what the hell are you doing? I know you're in there. I can see your heels under the door."
     Using the sleeve of her shirt, she pulled her hands into the cuff and grasped the fabric, swiping her face and eyes before her nose. He knew she was there. She hid from him, but could she hide the truth?
"Nothing is going on. I ate something bad this morning and got sick in the hallway. I was trying to clean it up before Coach saw it and sent me home. I need to change my clothes. Can we meet up at lunch?"
     A few seconds passed before he answered, "Yeah, whatever.  It feels like you're acting strange, though.  I don't care about seeing your vomit.  It just feels like you are avoiding me. I'll meet you at lunch, but you better not stand me up again. That shit makes me think you're doing something wrong behind my back!"
     Kate leaned hard against the door, drawing a loud sigh. "Gabe, why do you always think like that? I love you.  You know that. You're my first everything.  I'm not hiding anything. I just want to freshen up and not smell like puke all day."
She could hear him shuffling his feet and huffing. "Kate, if you ever try to leave me,  I will kill myself and you.
Meet me at the benches outside the cafeteria at lunch. "
     She heard his shoes smacking the floor as he walked away. 
     The nausea had subsided. But the ache in her heart as his words echoed in her head. "I will kill myself and you." Why did he say that? Does he really only see a future where only she exists next to him?
     Slowly, she walked to the janitor closet and pulled out a white trash bag and a heavy brown paper roll.  Rinsing her food off her sweater, she tossed the wet shirt in the trash bag, tied it, and placed it in her backpack. She had hoped that his words would calm down her fears, but it was just the opposite.   
     Something in his tone sounded too dark. She shook her head and reminded herself that he loved her. She convinced herself that his words were of devotion and not intention. Reaching down, she instinctively placed her hand on her flat stomach, closed her eyes, and prayed that he would love this baby too.