Until I Found You

Home and Him

Author's note:
Hey everyone! Welcome back to another hopefully better BillDip story. Please be sure to read the warning in the description okay? I'll try to upload as much as I can, don't be scared to give me ideas or correct my spelling and grammar, anything helps! Anyways, enjoy! Also this story is always going to be from Dipper's pov unless said otherwise.

I woke up to my annoying alarm at 6:00 a.m. as always. I groaned and turned it off then sat up for a minute. Why? Why does the sun keep rising? I thought as I turned my head to look out the window, the sun was rising slowly, it was warm out since it's the first day of summer. It felt good not having to go to school, I will never go again now that I'm graduated, thank whatever God exists for that.

I look down tiredly at my bandaged arms seeing they needed to be changed and my wounds needed to be cleaned. I got up and stretched then grabbed some clothes and a towel for a shower. Thankfully my bedroom had it's own bathroom, I could hear my dad downstairs already getting ready for work, my mom is making him coffee and lunch, I can tell from the smell of bacon, my dad has blts for lunch everyday. Mabel isn't up yet, she gets up more around noon during our days off, and since we're both out of school we get to take a nice break. I only get up so early so I can avoid Mabel...ever since she started hanging out with the popular kids she's really changed, she got meaner, more attitude, she's really full of herself now. It would probably give an old person a heart attack if they saw the big change from how Mabel was when we kids to how she is now.

Mabel hates me, the reason I still don't understand. I guess her "friends" have opened her eyes to how lame I really am, sure I'm smart and got all A's throughout school, but that makes me a nerd, and they hate nerds. They say I'm weak, pathetic, some say I should have never been born, some say I'll die alone. I've never had many friends, Mabel was my only one when I went weren't in Gravity Falls, but that has changed, I'm alone now... although, growing up, I could always tell Mabel was the favorite, everyone adored her, she was so much better than me, she's adorable, she's funny, she's smart in her own way, she's confident...she's everything I can't be.

I don't hate her, she has every right to hate me...I mean I hate me..it hurts though to have someone who's been on your side for so long just leave and ditch you like you never even mattered. Everyone hates me, they just don't show it or say it, but I'm not dumb, I know, I can sense it. But I've grown used to it, to all of it...but sometimes I don't know how much longer I can go living like this, is this even living? All I know is...I can't wait to go home, back to Gravity Falls where I will live the rest of my pathetic life.

I walked into my bathroom closing and locking the door behind me. I stripped off my clothes and threw them on the floor. I stared at myself in the mirror, almost in disgust. I had dark shadows beneath my tired eyes, messy brown hair, I was kinda skinny but not too skinny, I wasn't too short but not the tallest. I had bandages wrapped around my arms from my wrists to almost my elbows, the bandages had some blood spots here and there. I took the bandages off and threw them away, I looked at the cuts, some of them have faded to scars, some were deep, some were more like paper cuts, other's were more recent. I sighed and wiped my arms then turned on the shower and let the water run till it was warm enough.

I stepped into the shower, I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall, enjoying the warm water running down my body, relaxing me and helping me escape from this cruel reality. I'm so tired, I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, I wish I had someone to hold and keep close to me. I wish I wasn't alone all the time. I hope going back to Gravity Falls will make me feel better.
I continue my shower and cleaning my cuts on my arms, and also making new ones, I grabbed my blade I kept hidden behind my mirror and brought it to my skin, dragging it across my wrist. I clenched my jaw and flinched slightly. I watched the blood flow slowly down my arm before I cleaned it and wrapped my arms again.