All that is dark | ✓

4| ghosts

IT WAS AS EASY to get out of the police station as it was getting in. If anyone even looked at them it was brief, their eyes never truly registering her face. She was only a shadow of a human, as she had been her whole life. A complete lack of presence, she thought as she walked out of the door, is that what she had? Now all purpose in her life was lost, she wanted to ruin everything, set the whole world on fire just to feel something again. It unsettled her how much she sounded like the man she had escaped.

"Am I that terrible?" she asked Dante," was wanting love too much?"

He walked by her side, glancing at her briefly before he shook his head.

"I don't know," he said," I've solely wanted for anger my whole life. It was the only way to make me remember the guilt."

"For your sister dying?" she said," you know that wasn't your fault, right? You're not responsible for someone else's life. Who made you believe you do?"

"I see you still have that habit of wanting to fix everyone," he smiled," even now I'm dead."

She blinked and he was gone, but when she closed her eyes again, he stood right there. Bizarrely it made her feel somewhat at peace, the lack of his beating heart. No one ever left her when they stopped living. At least this way, she would never be lonely.

"Do you miss me, Helene?" Dante asked, his footsteps inaudible to anyone but her," or is it human warmth that you crave, no matter what form it comes in?"

"I wonder," she said," to be honest, I don't feel anything at all anymore. I've grown so numb of the pain that I wouldn't even care anymore if it consumes me." She kept walking, even though she didn't know where to. "I'm weary of living. I was never that suited for it to begin with."

"Is anyone?" Dante said.

"They all seem like they are," Helene answered," in the end most of them keeps functioning, don't they? None of them spiral downwards this much like I have done. Though it may be an illusion, being alone in my pain becomes realer as I stand here, with no one by my side."

"Do you think you should've stayed with Nathan?"

"I don't think I should've," she said," but I wanted to. That's exactly why I'm here, because I knew I couldn't trust myself anymore. All my degrees and the only thing I've learned is that, it seems."

"And how to converse with shadows," Dante smiled at her," I'm glad for it, now."

"Are you alright?"

She looked up at the man in front of her, surprised by the fact someone had spoken to her. Age had ran it's fingertips over his face, kissing his hair gray and curving his back. Still, his eyes had a bright light shining through the brown, so keen it reminded her of the cleverness she had been cursed with. It was the concern in the man's eyes which made her heart ache, though she didn't know why.

Helene looked around, to check if it was really her the man had asked the question to. When she turned to do so, the stranger repeated the question, voice so earnest that for some reason, it made her want to cry.

"Where are you looking at?" the man asked," do you need any help?"

"Why are you stopping, Helene?" Dante said," you need to keep going. He's going to find you."

"I don't know," she said, unsure which of the two she was replying to.

The man's face remained gentle as he looked at her, even though Helene was sure she looked positively insane. Her skin was pale, her eyes bloodshot, nails bitten to the edge. There was nothing about her which made people want to come near, as if they were scared they'd catch the insanity simply by proximity to her. When she had caught her reflection in the windows, she had eerily reminded herself of her mother.