All that is dark | ✓

5| lost

"HE LOVES ME, HE loves me not."

The blue petals rained down like tears as she plucked them away, one by one. There were some perks to being a ghost of a woman and the most important one was that she could seem to get away with anything. When she had passed the flowershop and grabbed a handful of forget-me-nots without slowing down, no one had even bothered to look at her. Even now she was leaving a trail of them, all their eyes focused on were the flowers, never her.

Her stomach turned as the last petal fell to the floor, the nausea that had started somewhere when she had started living with a serial killer still unable to leave her. She didn't grieve her broken heart this time though. No, it was fine, all of it. All these years she had spent questioning herself hadn't made her any happier, so why should she change herself anymore? She was done pleasing people. Now it was time to absolutely terrify them instead.

"You know I'll find you easier like this, right?" Nathan said, glancing at the path of blue behind her.

"I know," she replied to him, the image flickering every time she blinked," but I want you to be real again. I've been sad, I've been lonely, but now all I want to be is with you."

"Yet you keep walking," he remarked.

"Yet I keep walking," she said," I suppose I unconsciously want you to chase. Besides, I've always been self-destructive, even in my wishes, even in my actions."

"Do you think you love me?" he asked," a real love, not an obsession formed simply by forced proximity and warped minds?"

"I'll explain that when I see you again," she smiled, letting the flower go. "Until soon, my darling."

He was gone when she turned the corner and she kept walking, no other figments of her imagination coming to talk to her this time. This time, she truly was left alone with her thoughts. They whirled through her head quickly, one after the other, but none of them frightened her anymore. She had come to a realization a while ago, one she hadn't dared to speak out loud quite yet. Perhaps he'd be the first one she would tell. Perhaps she'd die with the words in her mouth.

Two kids ran past her then, both dressed up as witches as their laughter resounded warmly through the streets. When she looked closely at the people around her, she suddenly noticed most of them were wearing costumes as well, even the shops decorated with spiderwebs and pumpkins. Was it Halloween?

A smile curled up on her lips as she stopped walking, hands grazing past her rosebud earrings. Slowly she took them out, placing them neatly in front of the store before she entered. Though she didn't know if there was a tracker in them or not, she did wish for there to be. At this point she was both running from and in his arms. She didn't look back as she closed the door of the shop behind her, the tinkle of the bell announcing her entrance.

A costume shop, she noticed as she glanced around. Racks of clothing and masks surrounded her, black spiderwebs drawn across the floor and eery laughter playing from the speakers. In the middle of the shop stood a guy behind the counter, gaze trained on his phone screen as he yawned. He couldn't be more than sixteen years old and he looked bored out of his mind. A pair of devil horns were placed on his messy hair, hand tapping on the counter absentmindedly. When she passed him, he didn't even bother to look up.

She almost was about to walk away from him, up the stairway to the second floor, when suddenly she halted. For some reason she walked straight towards him, even though she knew it would be better to turn away. The cashier looked up at her, almost annoyed at the fact that she had disturbed him. Still, somehow that made her feel glad. Her first human contact after escaping who didn't treat her like she was crazy or non-existent. How strange it was.