December Stories (A Memoir)

3. R.O.I.

One of my most beloved relatives was Lola Esther Evangelista. When I wrote this in 2008, she was already suffering from Stage Three Cancer. By the time I self published/produced copies of DECEMBER STORIES in 2009, she passed away. This is probably one of the last memories I have of her, and it remains a short reminder of her godliness investment while on Earth.

This hospital is a maze!...And a high security facility nightmare!

It's December 26, 2008. Morning. I was already in the brink of giving up looking for her, but I can't stop now, I told myself. When I'm so near. 

It's been almost half an hour when I was trying to find the room in where she was confined.  My feet were already killing me as I had never been to a hospital that felt like I was in a labyrinth with so many corridors that intertwined and intersected.  To top it off, this was the first time I've encountered a hospital that is so strict that I had to leave my ID.

Considering that this was a hospital, THE KIDNEY CENTER'S tight security and multiple corridors that consists of both the Main and Annex building was anything but user-friendly. I swear, I might be hospitalized here myself for exhaustion had I not the determination to visit her. 

You think asking directions from the guard on duty was a big help, not really. He just told to go "left and then upstairs to find her room." 

The hospital was massive in structure. In fact, I had an impression that the Kidney Center doesn't like visitors at all. But looking back, I guess there were some grain of truth to what I thought considering the Kidney Center is a specialized hospital and the patients need extra care and silence to rest more. 

To be honest, I was at the point of going back some other time. But I know, I cannot or should not because it is vital for me to visit and see her.  Dismissing my own pain, the sense of duty and my love for the woman who I was determined to see was greater, that I continued. 

After asking several attempts to ask nurses I passed by, one finally go into my nerves when she said "to go back at the fork of the passageway and someone will direct me from there." 

That was a whole lot of HELP! I fumed inside. 

It was the day after Christmas and I need not spoil my holidays with so much incompetence in terms of getting the proper directions in a labyrinth of a hospital that is the Kidney Center.  I told myself. I can't give up now when I'm so near.

I've been informed that she had been confined already since Saturday, and had spent Christmas day in this hospital already. My Christmas spirits had been dampened by this news, just imagining her spending her holidays here. Her situation must be so damn serious. Why else would be confined in a hospital such as this? 

After a few steps, plus more twists and turns, I still had not reached her room. I wanted so much to give up, but something tells me, I might be too late. I vehemently brushed the thought away and swallowed my pride. I was determined to find her. 

Call me selfish, but truth be told, I couldn't visit her earlier because I needed time rejuvenate and rest myself.  I had so many things on my plate this December that I have spread myself so thinly with all those responsibilities and activities I had.  I had Parish activities like Panunuluyan rehearsals. I worked in graveyard shifts. I had M. A. Theatre classes to attend to.  To top it off, we had financial and domestic problems at home. Needless to say, it wasn't a Merry Christmas at first.  

By noon of that day, I was able to reach her room. But she was not there.  I opened the door to an empty bed and  my heart sank.  After all this time, after the long walk, it was an unsuccessful visit.