Scars (Evan Peters x reader)

Chapter One | Memories |

I gripped the knife and peered down at my hands. There were so many cuts, scattered throughout my hands. But my thoughts were interrupted when I heard banging at my door. I opened the door to see my caretaker with a tray of food.
"I've got your breakfast, love!" she says happily as she places it on the table beside my bed. But her smile quickly disappears as she looked down at my hands.
"Go to the infirmary now," she says in a dark tone. My hands started to shake and my breathing was labored. I complied with what she said and quickly walked over to the infirmary. I could hear shouting and thumping from inside the infirmary. I opened the door to see a boy pushing and yelling incoherent words at everyone around him. This boy wasn't just any boy though, he was my old neighbor before I was transferred to a mental hospital. He looked around frantically but stopped his movements when he saw me.
"Y-Y/n?" he uttered before a guard behind him knocked him out.
"Sorry about that, what seems to be the problem?" asked the nurse as she fixed her apron. I looked down at my hands and she seemed to get the memo.
"Not again, Y/n," she said as she shook her head. She took out all of the supplies that were needed to clean and dress my wounds. I couldn't stop thinking about him, Evan.
When I first saw Evan, he was already living next door to my new house. He was the kind of kid that listened to Nirvana or Arctic Monkeys. He usually wore ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a pair of converse. His hair was curly and blonde and it always looked messy. My room was also right across from his room so I would have a good look at what he does daily. Despite being neighbors, the first time he ever talked to me, was when he snuck into my room in the middle of the night. I would admit, he was a little weird when we first met but then again he did break into my room.
"All right! Everything should be good to go!" said the nurse, breaking me from my thoughts. I silently thanked her and got up from my seat to go back to my room. Before I could leave the room someone stopped me.
"Wait, you're the only one that could calm him down. That was the first time I'd ever seen him calm. Do you know him?" asked one of the guards.
"Yeah, he was my friend before I came here," I replied. I closed the door behind me and quietly walked back to my room. I looked at my bandaged hands and each of my fingers was wrapped with a white cloth. But the whiteness was quickly fading since my blood was being absorbed by the bandages. I opened my room to see Estelle, my caretaker, taking out all the sharp objects that I hid in my bathroom.
"Eat up your breakfast, love," she tells me while looking through the bathroom. I sat on my bed and placed the table of food in front of me. Today's breakfast was bacon, scrambled eggs, and two pieces of toast with butter.
"I gotta keep a better eye on you, love. You keep slipping these dangerous, sharp objects into your room," said Estelle from the bathroom. "Now, after you're done with your breakfast, you have reflection time in the common room and then after that, you have free time. I suggest you spend your free time, not in your room," said Estelle. I finished my breakfast and started heading toward the common room. There were many people there already but they were all with their caretakers since they were a new batch of people that just came in today. I sat at a table by myself until a person sat in front of me.
"Hello! I assume that you're new just like me!" said the person enthusiastically. I looked up to see that she was incredibly thin. She must be anorexic.
"No, I've been here for a couple of years now," I told her. She looked like she was gonna say something else but the workers started passing out the diaries. My fourteenth diary was passed to me first since I've been here for a while now. I opened it up to page sixty. I took one of the sharp pencils they put in the center of the table and started writing in the notebook.
August 20, 2022
Today, I did a bad thing. I cut myself again. Estelle was really mad at me and she sent me to the infirmary. But my best friend was there. The last time I heard from or saw him was when he got in that accident and was in a coma. I guess he finally woke up. It was weird seeing Evan again. Well, since I never really talked about him much, I'll give you a little backstory. Evan and I were neighbors before I came to this place. I was fourteen when my parents decided to move away from the city. When we first talked was when he decided to break into my room. Weirdly, I didn't think too much of him breaking and entering, I just kinda vibed with it. But when he came into my room, he went on and on about Nirvana and Arctic Monkeys. He seemed to idolize them so much. We also went to the same school but I'm not too surprised by that. We basically had the same interests and that's how we became fast friends. The only thing that was different about us was that he was bullied and I wasn't. He would get bullied by the jocks and sexually harassed by the popular girls. I remember one night, he snuck into my room again, but this time he was crying. His face was all battered up and there were multiple cuts and bruises on his body. I remember comforting him as he sobbed. Ever since that night, we've been closer but not just as friends. But everything changed when the bullies went too far. That day, I shouldn't have left him alone. On January 19, 2020, the bullies decided to cut his collarbones and push him around. Evan tripped on a rock while they were pushing him around and he landed on his head. This caused him to have a severe concussion and he was hospitalized and in a coma. I cried about him because I thought it was my fault for leaving him alone. But on February 17, 2020, I was sent to a mental hospital for self-harm. My parents always had strict expectations of me because they wanted a pristine image of our family. My two older brothers are very successful with popular business brands. But when they heard that my grades and work weren't doing well because my best friend was in the hospital, they started to yell and abuse me daily. I couldn't take it anymore so I just started cutting myself so I would get my mind off of what they kept saying to me. Once they found out that I was harming myself, their first thought was the send me to a mental hospital because they believed that everything and anything can be fixed. My parents only visited me once a year and that one time is my birthday. At least my two older brothers always visit me once a week. Anyways, it seems that I've been writing a little more than usual so I'll stop here for now.
I closed the notebook and returned it to the worker. I looked back to see all of the new people still writing in their journals. Now I had free time to do whatever I wanted. Estelle would probably yell at me if I went back into my room so the only place that was left was the library.
I walked to the library and went straight to the comic/manga section. I continued on the comic series that I left off on. I sat in one of the bean bags they provided in the library. I flipped through the comic and soon enough I was done with five books.
"Excuse me, are you Y/n L/n?" asked a worker. I nodded at her question.
"Please follow me, someone requested to see you," she said. I followed her to the visitation center to see not my brothers but Evan's parents.
"Y/n, it's been so long," said Evan's mom.
"Yeah, it has. My parents have kept me here for far too long," I replied.
"Please, sit down. We've got a lot to tell you," said Evan's dad. I sat in the seat across from them.
"I'm sure that you've seen Evan in the infirmary already and he's not doing well," explained his mom.
"Yeah, what happened to him?"
"When he woke up from the coma, he had severe memory loss and he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember us as his parents, he forgot how to communicate, and in response to being confused he's been pretty violent," said his dad.
"If he forgot everything, then why does he remember me?" I questioned.
"I'm not sure why but he seems to act at least normal when he sees you. I heard that he even remembers your name. So please as his parents, watch over Evan for us since he's been very violent towards us," pleaded his mom.
"I will," I promised her.
"Okay, times up," said the guard. I got up from the chair and waved goodbye to his parents. I was escorted back to the room where Estelle was waiting for me.
"Are you ready for your session with Dr. Williams?" she asked. I nodded once again and walked over to Dr. William's room to talk to him about therapy things.
"Hello, Y/n, I've heard that you cut yourself again," he said as I took a seat on the soft sofa across from him.
"Yeah, I guess I couldn't help myself," I said.
"What was the reason for hurting yourself this time?" he asked, as he took out his notebook.
"My brothers told me that my parents think of me as a failure, even when I graduated top of my class, valedictorian, and I'm still not enough," I replied, looking down at my wet bloody bandages.
"I see, your parents are the reason why you've cut yourself again," he concludes.
"They're always the reason," I said looking away from my hands.
"Perhaps this year and the next, we'll only let your brother visit," he suggests. It immediately grabbed my attention and I looked up at him with hope.
"T-that sounds great," I agreed while smiling a bit.
"I'm glad you agree with me. Now I think I might keep the amount of medication the same so I think it's time for you to change your bandages," he says pointing at my hands. I nodded my head at what he said I headed towards the infirmary. Two whole years without seeing or hearing from my parents sounds like a dream. I opened the door to see that one of the nurses was already tending to another person.
"What can I do for you?" asked one of the free nurses. I brought up my hands to show him that my bandages needed to be recleaned and dressed. He gestured for me to sit on a chair while he went to get the supplies. He came back and reapplied medicine and bandaged my hands. Once he was done, I was free to leave and I decided that I wanted to go back to my room to talk to Estelle.
I opened the door to my room to see Estelle knitting on a chair, waiting for me to return.
"Oh, how was your session, love?" she asked, not looking up from knitting.
"It was good. Dr. Williams is not gonna up the dosage though, instead, he's not gonna let my parents visit," I told her the good news.
"My, my, my, that is good news. At least you won't have your pesky parents bugging you and you can finally get better," she said. "Oh! That also reminds me, the higher-ups of the hospital want you to be with the patient known as Evan Peters at all times. Apparently, you're the only one that can calm him down. Poor child, he's been hostile towards everyone he's encountered," she said, putting away her knitting equipment.
"When do I get to see him?" I asked.
"Well, they said as soon as you get back from your session," she replied. I can finally see Evan again.