The Storm Inside Me.

21. Killer

"It's disgusting" Porchay looked at the lifeless body of the biker, he had vomited three times already but his stomach seemed to want to reject food again...

Kimhan shrugged, he accepted the hug from Chay, who hid his face in the mafia neck.

"Can we go now? "

Porchay was complaining about the smell. It was unbearable, he felt like throwing up again. He was sick just thinking of the dead man next to them.

" Next time, you will do it, so prepare yourself." Kim gave him an intense look, he was serious, he was afraid of Porchay because he was too pure... So if Chay wanted to stay by his side, he had to defile him.

Kimhan led Porchay to the car before throwing his lighter on the ground, and a series of explosions made the young boy groan even more.

"We ended our work here. We can go back." Chay nodded quickly, he was tired, he couldn't bear all his people dying in front of him as easily as Kimhan would like.

The young man buckled his seatbelt, and he began to sulk, as always, since they started killing members of the gang.

" You had to accept that living style." Kim reminded him. Kim started driving.

"I just wanted to stay with you..." Chay looked down at his hands, he was nervous, as usual.

"It's the price to pay for staying with me. " Kim was cold, he refused to spoil Chay. He wanted Chay to understand.

" I know."

"So this is it," Kimhan replied dryly. "I'm like that, it's my world, Chay, it's filthy and cold. We kill people with ease, we hide and we lie. Our families and our life companions are always in danger. You have to understand what being with me means. I'm not only Wik, your favorite kind and gentle singer... I'm also Kimhan Theerapanyakul and one day our story must end in tears and blood."

Porchay glared at Kim , he felt a rage rise in him,

"And you know how much I hate when you talk about this kind of thing?! Why when you talk about us it's always as if we were forced to be separated?! You talk about us in the past, you refuse to imagine that I can be your future?"

Porchay swallowed a sob, he always ended up in tears because of Kim. It didn't change.

Kim shot back in a cold voice, "You don't understand my love for you!!! I'm a danger, I'm putting you in danger just by doing this. I could die and you could die too."

Chay snapped his fingers, his voice was like acid;

"Oh c'mon please kill us... ram into a goddamn wall with that car if you want, let's get it over."

Kim slammed the steering wheel, he parked in the middle of a deserted street and looked at Chay, his face furious :

"I'm sorry, I'll never be your perfect boyfriend. You don't understand, this can't work..."

Chay flew in turn, his face red with anger:

"P'Kinn and hia are doing very well! I don't understand why our couple couldn't..."
"Because Porsche is stronger than...." said Kim's sharp voice.

Chay's face fell, it was hurtful. He hated being compared to his big brother, always. Kimhan thought he was too weak to stay by his side... It was painful.
Porchay looked away, he squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip.

"Chay....I'm sorry" Kim sighed, "I didn't mean to hurt you, sorry. I'm just... More than my feelings for you, I'm terrified of you, Porchay. You don't know how... how much you fill my mind making me unable to even think. I want you to leave me, because I can't. I tried, but you were there, sad and angry with me.. I couldn't resist. "

Porchay opened his eyes slowly, sniffling out the sob loudly in the back of his throat. He spoke in a shaky voice, "I... you're insufferable.You do not understand. I fell in love with you the first day our eyes met, I played his damn game to get your attention. If you love me, and I think you love me, stop talking about us like that... P'Kim. I will kill for you, if it can give you some good conscience. But I won't go. And if you feel you can't leave me, then stay and shut up."

Chay snapped his fingers again. The conversation was over, he refused to respond to Kimhan's complaints again, he grabbed his headphones and turned the sound up loudly in his ears.
The singer started the car again and he headed for his apartment, his brow furrowing and his eyes worried. He no longer knew how to treat Chay. He thought he was going to succeed in disgusting the young man with him, but the more Kimhan dragged Chay into the darkness, the more violent his feelings became. He wanted Porchay to be safe. But now, the younger was angry and sad, because of him again.

Porchay went straight to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water, and Kim hugged him, nestling his head in the younger's neck.

"I'm sorry, Chay."

Porchay frowned, he squeezed his glass and turned wearily.

"If you told me I love you more than excuses, I would be the most beloved man on this earth."