The Storm Inside Me.

46. What are we ?

Chay slammed Kimhan against a wall, his head hurting again. Damn, why was he acting like this again ? It's like Porchay was revolving around Kimhan's existence.
Kim's breath hitched against Chay's lips.
He couldn't take it anymore, his heart raced every time he saw this man with long hair.

"Why?" Kim hissed, clenching his jaw, "Why do I always have to save your pretty ass?"

"And why do you always have to be such a bastard ?"

The tension rose between the two young men.
Kim had acted without thinking, he looked intently at the youngest, he was lost, he felt like he had a whole different person in front of him. Porchay was no longer the one he had known.

"If..." Chay gripped the collar of Kim's black shirt angrily, "...if only you'd give me some time. Damn it."

"We have already wasted too much time."

"Don't talk like that."

Kim put his hand on Porchay's heart ready to push him away, but Porchay didn't move, he refused to give in:

"YOU-Y... YOU REALLY ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES. WHY EVERYONE HERE IS SAYING OTHERWISE!? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS!? WHY?"

If Porchay had slapped Kimhan, his reaction would have been the same.
Chay never raised his voice, on anyone and even less on his P'Kim. Porchay's face fell limply against the singer's shoulder, he was trying to speak calmly but his voice was distorted with anger:

"Why are you rejecting me so much? I don't understand... I.. why I am so angry with you everytime ? Don't you like me at all ?? I thought...''

"No. I don't like you."

Ah.

Porchay had therefore misunderstood their relationship, the young man clenched his fists before taking a step back and this time Kimhan grabbed him by the throat and he turned around, throwing Chay's light body against the wall.

"I refuse to accept. I don't want this. I refuse to let my memories of you fade away for a new Porchay..."

"You...." Porchay felt like he was going crazy, his whole body screaming for the man's touch, but his brain was still hissing in pain. "You are so stubborn. You refuse... You refuse to open your heart to me? Why ? Because of some fucking memories that we could just try to..."

Kim squeezed his hand a little more on the young boy's neck and he looked at him with hatred:

"You don't understand. You're just a kid. And if you were smart you wouldn't make the mistake of falling in love with me a second time. Our story didn't work. Do you want to be hurt so much ? No ? So back off."

Porchay pushed Kimhan's hand away, he wiped his tears with his sleeve, his anger was so strong he could hardly breathe.

'' You are a coward. You are.... just a big coward. You refuse me, you cling to the past, you blame me for having forgotten... AND YET I'm here, in front of you, and you tell me that you prefer to run away from your feelings? You are worrying your whole family with your behavior so I am taking matters into my own hands and doing my best but you..."

Kimhan took a step back, he crossed his arms, and his gaze escaped Porchay's, he wanted to leave and get back to drinking, rather than face the angry young boy.

"I hate you." Porchay hissed, he started to leave then suddenly he had an idea. "If we are nothing, then I can do whatever I want? Right ? Watch me, Kimhan."

A poor waiter who took out the trash came out, he was concentrating on his work but suddenly a boy with curly black hair and big doe eyes grabbed his arm.

"Excuse me.." Porchay whispered, he quickly brought his face closer to the waiter and pressed his lips to the completely confused man's.
Porchay kissed the man languidly, Kimhan's deadly gaze on him.

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!" Kimhan barked pushing the poor waiter away, he punched him and the man found himself on the floor.

Kimhan grabbed Chay's arm and pulled him away, but suddenly the young boy screamed and writhed in pain, he began to convulse.

"Porchay!"

Porchay collapsed to the ground, caught by Kimhan, his brain on fire. Images came back to him at breakneck speed, that of a party, with a man who had tried to give him drugs, and the anger of Kim, who had come to save Chay... The stupidity that Porchay had committed, when he had take so many drugs and that he had fallen into a coma.... The pain was stabbing, he screamed so loudly that several passers-by looked at Porchay in fear.

"It'll be okay, it'll be okay," Kimhan panicked, "get up, quick. I'll take you to the hospital, Chay."

Porchay struggled not to vomit, he let Kimhan carry him to his car and the latter rushed towards their private hospital. His stomach made a strange sound thanks to the speed, and he vomited on his converse... Kimhan grimaced in disgust and opened the windows.

"Great, you are drunk and here is the result... Can't you be less fucking stupid ?!"

"It's not..." Porchay trying to swallow air, "I remember...us."

Kimhan slammed on the brakes so hard the car squealed. He gripped the steering wheel before looking slowly at Porchay. The latter was calmer, he was rubbing his head and looked tired:

"You were really the king of idiots at that time and you haven't changed...."

"Porchay, what are you talking about..?"

The young boy raised his right hand, he placed it gently on Kim's face, tilting his head. He caressed his cheek and Kim scanned his face carefully, with concern.

"I remember... certain things."

Kim's hand rested on Chay's, he leaned toward Porchay, his gaze sharp. He listened intently to the youngest, if Porchay really remembered and still accepted the monster that he was...

" Tell me..."

"You are so capricious...My prince."

Porchay stepped forward, leaving an empty space between their faces and he kissed Kim, with passion and force, even biting his lower lip, as usual. Kimhan melted. It was him, it was his angel. Porchay was himself again.
His Porchay knew that Kimhan was a monster, but he had chosen him, and he was so afraid that this new Chay without any memories would have rejected him... So he was trying to get away first... But...

" I love you, Chay."