The White in her Black

Chapter 31

Pinakiramdaman ko si Catherine buong hapon. We didn't talk much. Ni hindi kami halos magpansinan, mukhang pati siya ay nakikiramdam lang din. Para bang inaalam ang iniisip ko.

I ate my dinner alone, having a hard time to swallow my food. I feel so lonely. I don't know what it was within me. I'm not sure if my longing or pissed. Baka ang selos na naramdaman ko kahapon ay naipon at naiwan sa akin.

Hindi ko inaya si Catherine. I just went down to eat my dinner alone. The helpers didn't bother to ask. It was as if they knew and they expected me to eat alone.

Then all the insecurities came. Am I not trustworthy enough to vent out her problems to? Am I not going to listen to her rants? Does she think that I'm still the weak Madison that she has to protect? Am I still a kid for her?

But then I know... I am not confident enough. How am I supposed to be worthy of her love if I don't even love who I am?

Madison Cortez:

Hello, I am okay but not really. Missing you a little extra today, Gab.

Gabriella didn't reply so I shrugged the feelings off. Umakyat lang ako at nagulat nang bumukas ang pinto ng library. Just when I thought that Catherine would realize that I shouldn't eat alone and she would eat with me, I was wrong.

Morena ang lumabas ng library. A girl named Nica with her messy bun, white unbuttoned polo and her revealing bralette inside. She looked so shocked upon seeing me. Para siyang nakakita nang multo pero agad din naman siyang ngumiti at bahagyang tumawa.

"What did you do inside?" I asked.

"Oh, Madison... you wouldn't like what we did." She said in such a feminine manner.

Hindi ko 'yon nagustuhan pero nanahimik lang ako. Pinili kong hindi siya patulan. She slightly brushed her shoulder against mine. Gustuhin ko mang magreklamo sa ginawa niya, dumiretso na lang ako sa pasilyo, iniisip na kung magagalit man ako, hindi 'yon kay Nica.

I was fuming mad as I entered the library. Catherine was not inside so I used the door extended to the master's bedroom. She was not there when I looked around but I heard the water from the shower so I remained quiet sitting at the edge of our bed.

"Nica was here." Bungad ko sa kanya nang lumabas siya ng banyo. May tuwalya sa kanyang buhok at may suot siyang roba.

"Yeah, we talked." She answered like she didn't want us to talk about it.

"About what?" I probed. My hopes and patience are fading slowly like the bits of dandelion being blown by the wind.

"Nothing important, Mads. I need to go to Manila now. I'll be home after 2 days. Probably by Saturday, nandito na ako ulit." She answered dismissing the topic with her cold voice. It even looked like she wanted me to stop asking her things.

I died a little bit inside. I am back again to the Madison who seems nothing to Catherine Montemayor. I am her fiancee but at the moment, it didn't feel like it.

I must be feeling vulnerable at the time that when she moved closer to kiss my forehead and give a hug, I cried and let my eyes express how longing and disappointed I was. She sighed as I cried louder.

"Where did I go wrong?" I asked with my shaky voice. "Please... what did I do? P-please let me know..." I begged so I would stop putting the blame to myself.

"Hush now, please. I'm sorry." Mahina niyang sabi. Her voice sounded broken, it was as if she doesn't like what's happening too.

It didn't console me, I just cried even more. Even my cry doesn't help. Ayaw niya pa ring magsabi sa akin tungkol sa nangyari. Si Nica... anong napag usapan nilang dalawa? Bakit ganoon ang ayos ni Nica? Catherine would not do it... right? She's not capable of hurting me. I know my Catherine Montemayor.