Kuch Kisse Roohaniyat Ke

Page 5

Dear Diary ....

It is said That what we can't share with others, is something we can share with you, You Being my personal space I know you won't judge me ever or would you ?

Writing you has been my solace and here away from Bangalore I hardly have anything else to do, Yes I am attending all the important online conferences but that is it , This is what my routine has been ....

How are you ? I really want to ask this question to that particular person , who is always in my mind but he neither contacted me nor replied to my message, I did tried alright, I did the next day of that unfortunate day in his life , I messaged him but there was no reply, but it was read, the blue ticks on the app confirmed it.
I'm stressed but there's no way I can really ask about his whereabouts from his family or in that case even from my own .

So I am just sitting here in my room, with my laptop sprawled somewhere on the couch , And my bags Kept beside me, my clothes thrown carelessly too , I was never the one to clean my stuff, it was just so not me .
I need a break from all this happening beside me, I don't know but I cannot just get him out of my system.

" Shehnaaz" and here we go again, My mother has made this a habit of reminding me daily that she is waiting for my answer, she would just ask me to sit with her for a while and to have a one to one conversation on anything and the next I know is me being asked What have I thought and should she take my silence as a yes.

" Yes Mom " I shouted back, too tired to go down and let her know I'm not interested today
There are moments I really wonder how could I even let Sidharth affect me to such an extent that even when with anyone all I'm thinking about is , is he fine ? How is he actually coping up ?

I still can not really take out the way he broke down in front of me from my eyes, His gut wrenching screams, his eyes that spoke all that he was unable to, I really am not able to take it and the irony is I don't know what would it take to be back to normal.

Even after 10 days I still feel like he is there in front of me crying out his guts.

" Siddharthhhh " I have cried that day with him, always thought only a meeting could never be special but With Just Seeing his Grandmother, made me respect and maybe love her and he has spent his entire life loving her , if it was that hard for me I really don't want to imagine what it was for him.

" Sidharth you need to be there, She is Your Grandmother and she needs your love before she finally parts her way to the abode above " I have spoken that day, with him hugging me tightly, his tears dried up but he was lost , lost in a void and I knew he has to give his Grandmother a closure.

" I can't .... Iam not that strong Shehnaaz, I am not...." He had spoken not crying because maybe there were no more tears left in his lacrimal glands.....
But he needed a closeure for himself I have known it, have never lost someone that close to me and I hope I never have to face it but who was I kidding with....

Immortal!!

Does this word even exists for humans, I know it doesn't, and hence I knew he needs to let go of her happily, so that she is able to start her life as a soul again.

" Would you want her to be unhappy Sidharth" I know I have no rights to question him but I guess I can do this to bring him out of the shock he is feeling.

" Why The hell Would I " he had shouted , his eyes as if someone just dipped them in a pool of blood and I was so scared for him .

" Relax Shshsh Everything's fine" I spoke hugging him again and he reciprocated it.

" Are you going to be there with me , I can't let her go, Not when I am all alone with my family there, Will you ? " He asked with this unknown emotion in his eyes That I felt myself nodding immediately, anyways I was going to be there , He was broken and I know how depressing that could be .