Tick Tock

Eleven

Adrien's POV

"Of course, I care but I care more about her than me!"

"How could you possibly care more about her than yourself?"

Where do I start? At this point, I have no self-preservation and my dad was just awful lately. I can barely go out anymore as Adrien and Chat noir is my only escape. And despite everything I've done that number above Marinette's head only seems to get smaller and so does her will to live.

"Because I'm not even good enough to help her! That's not just some stupid self-hatred thing it's true. I've been trying for months and I seem to only be making things worse,"

I sucked in a quick breath as I let all of this out. She seemed to do the same. I was confused as to why she would want to help me or care in the first place. I thought even deeper about why I cared so much. Why I tried to visit every night, why I tried so hard to get the timer to g up by even a few minutes?

Then it hit me like a truck. A big obvious truck I never seemed to see until now.

"M'lady I love her."

She stayed quiet after that. Talking quietly to the wind like she always did when she was thinking through something.Seemingly a mixture of anger and confusion.

"I just don't understand why you care about her more than you! You are-"

"Nothing. I am nothing. I don't matter. But her? She means the world to me Ladybug. She always has."

"You're nothing? Are you freaking kidding me right now? You are the farthest thing from nothing you hear me? I need you so much you have no clue how important you are to all of Paris!"

"I am the sidekick. You can do all of it by yourself and you certainly have before. I'm just an add-on. She is everything to me so, of course, I care about her more than me which is something you can't seem to understand."

"You have no idea how much I understand!! It is the story of my life putting others first because I am not good enough but I'm here to tell you that you do not have to go through this because you are the best friend and partner I could ever have!"

"Ladybug you are the near embodiment of perfection and you say you're not good enough?"

"Maybe to everyone else! But I am just an 18-year-old girl who can't seem to get a grip so please, for the love of god show yourself some respect."

And with that, she yo-yo'd away. That sounded much better in my head...

I went home and detransformed in my room. I heard a knock on my door and thinking it was Natalie, yelled "come in!" To my surprise it was Father. He never came to my room in person. Like ever.

"We need to talk about you and miss Dupain-Cheng."

Marinette's Pov

I just didn't t get it. How could he possibly... love me? Even after all of this and the burden that I am on him?

He doesn't love you.

In fact, he doesn't even like you.

You know it.

I know it.

So stop pretending.

And stop wasting his time.

Things could go a lot smoother y'know.

You still have that knife on you, don't you?

The mysterious voice in my head was right... I didn't want to keep any stupid promise made anymore. I didn't mean it in the first place and he didn't mean anything he said to me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I detransformed with the knife I had previously in my hand.

I sobbed as ai walked home, when I flopped on my bed, and all throughout the night. I threw the knife across the room and tried to get some sleep.

I tried to keep my promise to Chat I really did. But it all just caught up to me eventually about a week later.

"Listen here, I know that you're hurting," Alya said stopping by my desk.

I looked up surprised she would even speak to me let alone have to possibility of saying anything remotely nice about me. Could this be it?

" I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad you are."

She stalked away laughing with her new "friends" and I refused to sit here with no option of coping. So I stood up and took my bag with me to the bathroom but as I was walking I heard Mrs. bustier.

"Marinette where do you think you're going with your backpack?"

"oh y'know... girl things."

"Oh then carry on."

Well, it certainly involved blood.

So I took a knife and made the deepest cut yet.