Tick Tock

Twelve

Extra TW my dudes, this time suicidal thoughts AND eating disorders. Buckle up we're here for pure pain and spelling errors. If you're reading this as a completed work maybe rest for a minute, get a drink of water, and get your therapist on speed dial. 
Marinettes POV

I looked at my bandages if my wrists and thighs as I went to make myself dinner making sure to have the amount of calories below 250. I started eating when I instantly regretted it. I ran to the bathroom with the voice yelling at me.

How could you be so stupid? You know that your fat enough as it is how could you slip up? How could you be so incredibly idiotic that you can't do one thing right?

I stuck two fingers down my throat trying to get myself to throw up over and over but I just kept gagging and nothing was happening
I did it a final time and this time it worked. I vomited in the toilet leaving a sour taste in my mouth. But I felt numb. The voice was gone and I wasn't in pain. Numb... numb is good. It's better then pain.

Pain is a tornado of undeniable insanity, where you had no storm cellar and we're running straight towards it, guaranteed to die a horrible death, and soon forgotten. I want to just be forgotten.

Numbness however is just the field. There isn't a storm cellar and there isn't anything good about it, but there's nothing bad either. You can simply survive with no up or down, and if cuts and throwing up when I eat a little is the price I'm willing to pay it. What else do I have to lose?

It was that feeling of hopelessness that really destroyed me. It consumed with every inch of my being because I knew no matter what I did I would never be good enough. And I never have been. Every time Chat Noir has felt like he messed up it was because of me. Every time I was bullied it was because not of them being cruel, though Chloe and Lila are, it was because I was incompetent enough to let it happen. I'm not even good enough to avoid a blast from an akuma.

The numbness went away replaced with the tornado of uncertainty. I just wanted to find a way to click of this software as if it was a glitch. I went to bed with a single thought that night.

Tomorrow's the day I'm no longer a waste of space.

Adriens POV.

"So you're telling me that you want me to stop talking to Marinette because why?!"

"Watch your tone."

"Don't tell me to watch my tone until you explain what's happening in your head!"

"Adrien your relationship with Ms. Dupain-Chen's has clearly affected you. She's clearly taken."

"Did-"

"What I did is none of your concern. What is my concern however is if my son is competent enough to realize what he's doing is idiotic and an emotional response instead of a logical one."

"You sent those cameras after her?"

" I did what needed to be done."

"You invaded her privacy her life! She has a right to her own-"

"You will stop associating with this baker girl, and you will not tell me what I should do. I am your father and I know what is best. Period. Now go to your room."

"But-"

"NOW."

I stormed out of his office and slammed the door angry and waiting for the day to be over as soon as possible. I got a notification on my phone saying "Two more days."

It was the few more days Marinette had before she was scheduled to die. I only have two days to fix this.

Gabriel's POV

"I think I have a way to create my most powerful akuma yet nooroo."
"How can you be sure?"
"Give it a day. I know it'll work."

Marinettes POV.
I woke up, despite knowing today would be the day, I still didn't want to get out of bed any more than I did the other days. I still felt like the whole world was crumbling and I was powerless to stop it, but I managed. Barely. I took my knife a put it in my backpack ready to slit my wrists the second I get into the school bathroom with a suicide note.
I avoided any way of me being seen as I walked over to the bathroom discreetly. As I got out the knife, a piece of paper and a pencil. I started writing whatever would make them know that this is my fault and they only helped me realize that.

Dear anyone who ends up reading this,
you will be the last person I ever talk to. Hopefully if all goes well. I have something's to clear up because I know that this will be messed up if I don't make sure that it isn't.
1. This is not because of anyone else. Sure Lila,Chloe, Alya, and Sabrina bullying me was just kicking me while I'm down but the key part is that I was already down. I was weak and that's why I'm here.
2. Ladybug will be out of commission from now on. Why you may be asking? Let's say that she went down my path to.
3. "Chat noir "if you happen to end up reading this, thank you for trying. But you wasted your time on a hopeless case. I could never be saved.
4. And finally I want you to know that as my final words to the world I am in pain. I always was. So dot mourn me. I don't deserve to be mourned because all of it is my fault. So lease just leave me be. Say something about me once and forget about me. I'm not worth remembering.
with all the love I have left,
Marinette.

I dotted the i with a little heart a went to start making a fatal cut. When I heard someone bust through the door.

 
"A-a-Adrien?" 

"No no no no Marinette you promised you wouldn't do this anymore you promised!"

"I didn't promise you anything I-" then it hit me like a truck. All the looks, how Chat knew so much about what happened, how he somehow knew the days where it was the worst at school. It was because he was there.

"chaton."

"Marinette now is not the time for these realizations you can't keep-"

"I TRUSTED YOU. I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU LIED TO ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. I HATE YOU ADRIEN." Tears filled my eyes as I yelled at him. How could I have been so blind? 

"You have to listen to me!"

"NO. NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN."

I ran out in more pain than I've ever been in my heart and head fighting but agreeing on one thing. I needed to go. I went on the elevator up to the roof about five stories up and sat at the edge with suicide note and knife in hand. I set the note down about to use the knife as a weight ready to jump until I saw a purple butterfly. It was to close to fight of as it flew into the knife.

I heard a voice talking about how I could make everyone feel like I did. Know what they've been putting me through. I knew I shouldn't but it was so compelling. Almost felt freeing.
princess justice? What do you say?

"Yes hawkmoth."