2am

day 1

rains

well, it is raining outside.

i dont know why i care about it, i never cared about the rain

that is pretty opposite of yuna.

i also dont know why i care about yuna.

i wouldnt say that "i never cared about yuna" if she had a problem i would be the first person to be there. help her etc

the point is i dont know why is all of my kindness headed toward yuna

ive always been mean to everyone

but not yuna though

i fell asleep while it kept raining. so freaking cold.

2 am

i woke up

i always wake up this time, and nights always be so dark

it's the same this time

darkness is my friend since i was 10

yuna is always scared of the dark

but i dont

it feels safe when im in it, nothing is in there. emptiness.

nothing to care about. zero thoughts behind nothing.

i was scared of darkness when im 9. i told my mom that i want to sleep with the lights on, and i hugged my dad tightly when the lights went off.

at 10, darkness isnt my fear anymore.

im alone, i have no one to protect me when i feel attacked.

i stopped caring.

"that is your advantage darling, you will never care about getting judged, you will never fear anything, basically you ignore it throughout your life, im proud of you"

said, my grandpa.

i stopped hating when darkness hugs me at night. i turned it in to my friend. something that i can cry to when im alone.

i stare outside.

some streetlights are still working.

i hate street lights, i want no lights to approach me while i fall asleep.

my thoughts told me to pull out the curtains, even if that sounds like an amazing idea i still want to see everything outside.

"hello?"

a message popped up on my phone

i put my phone on do not disturb all the time, the only notification that i'll be receiving right now is yuna's.

because i care about her messages

"shouldn't u be awake right now?"

another one

i grabbed my phone

i tried using all of my energy at that time to type a few words

what should i type?