a Message filled with regret

chapter 2: The goodbyes we should never have to say

Brought to  the waiting room was tedious. Knowing what her family would say already. A chorus of "come home"s and "we love you"s and "I know you can win"s. Adding to Rowells fear and hatred for what is to come. Having the feeling that although people love her now, of she were to come back, how much love would she have then?

Unsprisingly her father walked in first, with his girlfriend with him.

What wasn't expected however, was her father's message. Short and to the point before leaving the room. "You will win, you will do me proud and you will not leave your sister alone, do you hear me" said with a scowl and angry look, before grabbing her harshly, stuffing a bracelet in her hands (her mothers) then giving her a last once Iver before leaving. Making way for her younger sister to enter the room, tears in her eyes and shaking hands.

Rosie wasted no time before running towards the older girl and enveloping her into a hug. Crying onto her reaping cloths, crumpling them up and wetting them.

Pleading with her to come back, not to knave her with their father, who is known around their district for his careless attitude towards his children even since madelyn, the child he lost to the games 5 years prior. Doing endless drills with Rowell in town squar until she nearly passes out from exhaustion, or throws up from exertion, which ever comes first. All in the name of preparing for the possibility of a reaping. Of the selection for the honour to be named victor.

Rowell knew that she had to win, and had to win by a long shot. That meant taking out all competition early on. She had to do what was taught if her or when she returned her father would rather she died just like maddie.

"Rosie," she said to the crying girl softly, then again and again until she was acknowledged, "I'm going to try, I'm going to try okay. I can make no promises, buy I need you to make ine for me okay" she took a deep breath, shutting her eyes before continuing. "You have to promise me not to watch, no matter what you hear or learn, you cannot watch. Go to Theo until its all over, stay with him until the games have finished. Do you hear me" as she spoke a certain urgency overcame her voice, as if it had suddenly dawned on her that these may be the last words she may ever day to her sister. The last words Rowell needed to say, no fluffy bullshit and half arsed promises. Sje needed to garetee her sister's safety. "If I don't win," she was cut iff her her sister's string head shake against her, and a sob.

"No! Rosie listen to me, if i don't come back, stay with theo, he will happily take you in. Stay with him. Promise me"

"I promise, but. But you will win. I know you can, you've trained. You're good with weapons, dad made sure if it. You will come back, and I can live with you."

The rest of her 2 minute visits went much like this, empty words and exchanges made. Until Theo's. 

He walked in raging. Expression hard. Hugging her tightly and softly, slowly (as if giving her enough time to relise what was happening and pull away) brought his lips to hers, kissing her.

Their first kiss. Her mind supplied almost unhelpfully. Not the way Rowell had wanted it to go, but embraced fully. As if he was the last thing she needed. He was the last person she saw. He was everything to the girl. And she was leaving him. Leaving him to murder innocent children much like herself, or potentially die before they can share another firsts between them.

Pressing her lips against his again, the lightest touch, a promise for more.  her mouth brushing over his, lingering without intent and her lids drift closed. Pulling away she murmers onto his mouth, "I'll do everything I can to come home"

He drops his eyes to the floor and curls his hands around her waist, still nodding, he says, "I know you will, but what do I do if you can't? What do I do? You are my best friend, I care so much what will I do?"

She blinks back tears of her own. "You go on. You live." swallowing down the bile from her throat. Rowell finds it oddly amusing that she is the one comforting another, a role reversal that matches perfectly to their situation, their friendship "I promise you, I will come home if I can. And if i happen to meet Finnick Odair while I'm there?" She muses playfully, "I'll put in a good word for you, you never know he may just remember and seek you out." She says in a trading tone. To which he simply rolls his eyes at.

As he open his mouth to say something, anything else he is dragged out if the room by peace keepers. Swiftly after, she is commanded to leave as well.

Boarding the train was an experience for Rowell. The pure elegance and decadence was overwhelming. Rowell grew up with scarce in the way of decorative objects. A strong Bieliver in the phrase less is more, the capitial clearly hadn't adopted such a mantra.

Every surface was covered in an expensive piece of art, every peice of furniture clearly brand new, and likely cost the price of her whole house, and maybe her neighbours as well.

They had the old look to them, designed that were conciseness aged, beautiful in simplicity, yet lacked the ware and tare if loved pieces. The leather on the sofas were stretched and looked hard, it wouldn't give like the sofa at her Thoe's house ottern did. The chairs wouldn't creak when sat upon. The curtains hung perfectly over the windows, not having a stain or small hole in sight.

The room should look perfect. Did look perfect, perfect by capitial standards. Yet the overall look only deepened Rowells hatred. The citizens lived a life if such luxury that they want for nothing. Expecting the districts to work as hard as they demand. Paying for debts and crimes made over 50 years ago.

It was this careless lifestyle, the showing iff if money that created the economic gap that left the districts in an eternal cycle of poverty. Of need, and of want.

Rowell could barly stand to look at it, yet she was hungry.

Grabbing a plate and fulling it to the brim she stirmed off. Not looking twice at her mentors, (Katherine and Spark) or the obnoxious escort slicing her way through the train carriages to the final one. Providing her a view of the district, her hoke, fading away as the train speeds on into the Capital.

Right so chapter two. It's short I know. But I didn't want to do really long chapters, so sorry 😇🥲

This is also unedited and I am dislexic so please excuse typos and/or spelling mistakes

Many thanks Xx