a Message filled with regret

chapter 3 tainted beauty

the train ride dragged on, left them sitting in almost silence apart from the sounds of her district partner chewing loudly, so loudly. 

she would normally hate such manors, yet Rowell knew by looks alone that he was less fortunate than most. the hollow cheeks, the skinny frame, the way in which hid clothes hung from his frame. she knew by the lack of tears in the crowd when he was reaped.  He simply had no one who cared about him. Sad really, bit he wouldn't be alive long enough, so there really is no point for Rowell to dwell on such facts.

Rowell knew she couldn't grow to care for the boy, couldn't even grow to like him, yet she felt a small pang of something in her chest when she saw the disgusted looks from the capital escort.  Rowell adopted his eating style, much to her own disgust. Gods her other would be turning in her shallow grave if she could see her beloved daughter now. 

"Right," her mentor, Spark began. "We need to know your skills, or any positive attributes that will help you in the arena" getting right into it then. 

Spark. Won the 52nd hunger games, a relatively boring year by the capital standards, most people died of either dehydration, exposure or starvation. only 8 people were killed in total that year. Spark killed 5 of them.

"We just need to know how we can help you, so we can start training you straight away, giving you the best chance possible at survival" Katherine, the only female victor of district 5 adds on. her deep red hair tied up into a messy bun and her face looking worn, no makeup in sight. She is most likely the most despised victor in the capital, unwilling to conform to their beauty standards, unwilling to play their games. She always dresses in traditional district five grey, normally a pantsuit, that hugs her figure perfectly, yet boring in comparison to the capital's extravagance. 

"i have no chance so why even bother," her district partner supplies in response, his face downcast and eyes red rimmed, he had clearly only just stopped crying, "even if I had a chance, I have no one at home to go back to." He confirmed her suspicions, most likely an orphan. Many people dies in the massacre around 10 years back. The small and only rebellion her district had participated in.

Rowell knew she should feel sympathy for the other, yet all her mind supplied was relief. one less person as competition for her. "With all due respect, I am not going to share any skills I have with the competition, this is called a game for a reason, there are winners and losers. Sharing my skills is how i will lose." She knew she sounded harsh, standoffish. yet she couldn't care, all she could focus on was caring about getting home, playing the role her father had trained her for. If she needed to look like an angry little teenager to get her point across then she would. call her immature, Rowell didn't care. At all. "I especially will not share myself with a weakling like him" She indicated with her head to the boy, he flinched at her words and looked about to cry again, "Who will clearly just die in the bloodbath, if I don't kill him myself first. I don't need any dead weights!" 

as her words finished Carson Keely abruptly stood up, a jerking like motion, all odd angles not a fluid motion and ran out of the carriage. hands covering his eyes. Katherine stood too, her movements much more fluid, more elegant, and followed him out of the room, a resigned sort of expression upon her face. 

"Not holding punches, I see darlin," Surprisingly Rowell thought she saw amusement in his face. his lips tilted to a small smirk underneath his bearded face, eyes crinkling with mild joy. eyes brows raised for just a second, before his face became a passive look once again. "So now your so called "weakling" has left" he punctuated the word weakling with finger quotes and a look of fake Suprise in his face, eyes blown wide, and eyebrows raised "what skills would you like to share so we can come up with a strategy for you"