Don't Leave Me Behind

We have to go

As the new year came and the holidays passed . 1994 was a year of drastic change . An order was issued for all the immigrants from Bosnia will have to choose a destination to a country that are accepting immigrants or return to Bosnia .

We were not ready mentally to go anywhere. But it was not safe to go back . As we waited for hours to talk to our caseworker. We were given 2 choices . Australia or America? The process was long and it could take months or even a year to complete . Some people have already been waiting a year in the camps . The camp in Ivanic Town was so full that they had containers turned into living pods where 2-3 families lived . It was chaos but yet everyone got along . Kids would play in the center of the camp. It was a hard living condition but it was safe . Everyone was thankful . It felt like they were adding containers every week . So many families came in and no one was leaving.

Our destination was America. We were going to Dallas , TX and approximate date was sometime in August of 1995. The Catholic charities will sponsor us and lend us the money for our airfare and we will pay back with in 2 years after arriving in Texas .

My parents were in their 40s scared but decided to take this risk for a better life . My grandmother was in her late 60s and was not having it . The change scared her so much . She said she lived through World War One and the nazi take over . She just can't do this anymore . She begged to just go back even if it meant by her self .

My father wouldn't budge . He made sure to let her know that the family will not separate. We are in this together .

The process was long . We had to go to numerous doctors appointments , receive so many vaccinations. Meet with psychiatrists and talk about feelings and goals . Months and months of appointments and meetings .

In July 1995 we received a certified letter stating that our application was approved and our flight will be from Zagreb in October. My father was in Austria working and my mom read the letter word by word . She took a deep breath and said . ' it won't be easy but this will be good for us ' .

As our neighbors and friends found out that we were leaving . A lot of them were sad to see us go . We have created friendships more like family in a short period of time . Even tho we were different religions. Love and respect was there . We didn't have anything of value except little stuff we brought when we fled . There was not a lot of planning except wait until it's time to go .

Summer flew by really fast . Like a blink of an eye . As the date kept coming closer and closer I could tell my parents we're getting anxious. I can't blame them! I knew they were scared going to a country as big as an America not knowing the language and not being very young. Start from the beginning and from scratch.

It was the first week of August and school has started I have begin fourth grade. I was excited to go back to school to my friends. Yeah can you believe it "friends " I told everyone that we are leaving for America in October . I could see my friends were sad and they told me they will miss me a lot . Who would think when I first got here and now I would be sad to leave.

I remember coming home that day as my nana greeted me at the door . She could tell I was pretty sad and bothered. She sat me down and told me if she can do it I can to .

She tried so hard to cheer me up . That woman was something else . Then she proceeded to tell me story from her past to show me how strong woman are and we can do anything we set our minds to .