Flaws: Vedmykiv

[18] All Of My Flaws

IT WAS CLOSE to midnight. Both friends on the opposite spectrum of this nonsense lay face down on the bed. Sasha had returned with another bottle, and Natalya had shown up to comfort Oxana, maybe more. Sasha kept trying to put his arm around her. "Quit it," she seemed to say. She wasn't drunk enough for that. Oxana rested in my arms, playing at not being bothered by anything. I admired her for that. I wanted to tell her that I didn't have a job offer. I wanted to tell her that I was going to search for my ex. I wanted to tell her it could have never been her. The babushka insisted it was vital to be honest. I tried it with the captain, and it worked. I survived this far. Wasn't that proof enough? And yet this was harder, way harder. I'd rather face the separatists again than see the disappointment on her face.

We were by the bedroom window, looking at the buildings that surrounded us. The cracks clogged with debris were darker than the night itself. The moon swallowed up the dim yellow lamps and the stillness of my last night in this despondent world that had shown me so much. It was so bright I could see the plants in the pots on the balconies of the building across that had begun to sprout. Boy, I hadn't slept enough. She was falling asleep, too. How could I break her heart and be able to live with myself after that?

I was drifting into sleep when a screech shook me awake. I leaned over the window and saw two SUVs turn the corner, skidding on the wet asphalt. One of them crashed into a dumpster. My pulse raced to the point I could hear my heart beating. Oxana must have heard it too. She woke up and looked at me, scanning my face for what we instantly knew. The two vehicles barricaded the front of the building next door.

Sasha and Natalya got up, and, half-asleep, stumbled toward us, responding to Oxana's calling. I grabbed the babyface officer by the wrist and pulled him to the window.

"Chyort voz'mi. Chyort voz'mi." he murmured, taking a few steps back. Damn it. Oh shit. Four armed men got out of one of the cars.

"Call on all your favors now, Oxana."

"Okay, okay."

I looked at Sasha and pointed at his gun. "If we survive, I'll get you all the bullets you want."

Natalya went out into the hallway and checked that the iron gate was locked. I turned off the kitchen lights, hoping the men sent to slay me wouldn't find us, and we moved back to the bedroom. "Help me move the bed." We flipped the heavy frame and pushed it against the bedroom door. Only then we remembered it opened outward. Hands were trembling.

"Yuriy and Bohdan are on their way," Oxana said. "They're going to try to alert the National Guard. I'm going to call Kseniya now."

"Who?"

"Kseniya. The woman we rescued. The woman in a cocktail dress you couldn't stop staring at."

"Why? What is she going to do? Flirt with those thugs?"

"You are unbelievable."

"Unbelievable? This is unbelievable. Look at the shithole you brought me! Look! I'm ready to die for you. How's that for unbelievable?"

"You? Die for me? Is that what you think you are doing?"

"I came here for you, didn't I?"

"Did you, Joaquin? Did you really?"

"Yes! And I hope they shoot me in the head for it. Worst decision of my fucking life."

"I wish I could say I hope that too," she whispered. She turned to look at Sasha and her friend, who were standing in the room in awkward silence. Besides the squeak of the SUV wheels, our discussion had to be the only other noise that could wake up the neighbors.