Collided

20

''I don't want to be her.'' Blossom is sad and wants Ethan to notice her the same way he notices me. I went to my room to eat so I could avoid him and his friends because I couldn't bear to see him.

It was almost midnight and Ethan turned his portion in to me to add on to my portion. Now I know I can get this thing done tonight and make it pretty tomorrow in order to get some sleep for tonight. Mom was calling me to check up on me, so I answered the phone as she asked me if I was alright.

''I am fine.'' I said.

''Do you want to talk about the incident?'' She asked and I was not in the mood to talk about it, also I didn't want to remember either. She can tell I am not in the mood to talk about it, so she says goodnight leaving me to finish the project. With her reminding me about that incident brought tears to my eyes knowing I found out that day which led me to the hospital.

I felt like an idiot knowing I let him do this to me until I received another phone call realizing it was Dan. I answered it when he asked me if I wanted to meet up with him at a coffee shop and I told him I would love to meet with him on campus. I haven't been at a coffee shop for some time since the day of the incident.

He told me he will come tomorrow to see me. I think it would be nice to leave campus for some time to hang out with someone else other than college nightmare people. I close my laptop telling Dan I will see him tomorrow and hang up the call to sleep. I fell asleep just thinking of Ethan when I shouldn't but can't help it.

I had a wild dream about him and I. I just wanted to leave that behind when Dan came on campus. I missed class to hang out with Dan where Ethan texts me if I was showing up for class today. I did not respond to his text because I needed to get him out of my head by not thinking about him, let alone responding to his text.

Dan and I went out for a walk just talking about things. I was wondering why all of sudden Dan wanted to see me. He told me how he heard about the things that have been going on in my life and he wants me to know he is not here to judge nor was he sent by my mother. I had no idea he thought of what I was going to ask him. We were having fun while I was drinking a soda instead of a coffee which I missed for some time. The doctor told me to stay away from caffeine for some time since it was the reason my heart was not compatible with the alcohol.
''I know you are not allow to drink alcohol at all.'' Dan was making fun of me. I gave him a light pat on his shoulder laughing my ass off. It was so funny knowing I am banned from certain things for my health in the meantime.

''Holly, are you still dating Ethan?'' He asks.

''Unfortunately no.'' I shrug my shoulder knowing I don't want to talk about it because I am still trying to wrap my mind around it. I should've known this was going to happen to me because someone as beautiful as him doesn't believe in love.

I wish someone would warn me to let me know he is the dangerous type. Dan can tell I am not into talking about it, so he doesn't bother me with it. We went to a concert where I never felt so alive until I met Ethan. I thought I saw Ethan when I was jumping around where he grabs me by the waist telling me how sexy I look just by jumping to the music.

''You hurt me.'' I said.

''I know.'' He says and I couldn't help myself to bash my lips right upon his thinking it was him but it was Dan all this time. Dan and I were sharing a kiss all this time while I am thinking it's Ethan until I push him off telling him I will not be able to forgive him for what he did to me. He was responding to me and I didn't understand why he was responding to me unless I was in my subconscious.

''Holly.'' I hear my name.

''Yes.''

''It's me, Dan.'' I am staring at Dan but thinking he is Ethan for some reason which I don't know. After the concert, I saw that Ethan left me a message telling me that he signed us up on Friday for the presentations.

''Shit.'' I muttered.

''What is it?'' Dan looks at me in concern.

''I have a project to present with Ethan.''

''You cannot get him out of your mind.'' Dan can tell I am still addicted to Ethan which I can't help myself with. We went somewhere to talk so I can tell him that Ethan and I are not together because of indifferences and he seems to swallow my whole entire mind just having him in my thoughts. Dan understood what went wrong in our relationship because I was not like this when I was with him. He sees that I really love Ethan and for some reason he hurts me badly to the point I don't think I can heal from it.

I started to cry because there is a pain in my heart that was once filled with him and how he made me feel until he made me feel like shit. Dan had his days when he made me feel like shit also but it was not the same with Ethan.

''Holly, you will need to forgive him one day.'' Dan suggested.

''I don't think I will because he fucking hurt me all for some fucking bet.'' I was getting angry just by thinking of the amount I owed him. He thought I was worth twenty thousand dollars for that bet he did with his friends.

Dan didn't look too shocked when I mentioned this. I was confused because he was the one who told me that Ethan is a piece of shit and I told him he was not a piece of shit. Dan mentions how he found out when Blossom told him when they jumped into the lake at the bonfire.

''Wait what?'' I got up from my seat next to him staring at him waiting for an explanation.

''Blossom and I was making out until she mention how Ethan needs to bed you and make you say I love you before his father wedding.'' She says.

''The fuck.'' I was so mad, so I started walking away from him because he knew all this time and he could have avoided all of this.

''Holly, please hear me out.'' He was following me while I was crying really hard knowing he was a part of the bet also. I couldn't believe Dan; I thought he was my friend and he let these people who he met for a few seconds confuse his mind on true friendship. He calls out my name and I stop since I was at a stop sign waiting for traffic to not be so crazy.

''I didn't tell you because deep down inside of me I wanted you to be hurt.'' He says.

''Well you got your fucking wish, you fucking asshole.'' I turn around waiting for traffic to die down to pass through as I stick the middle finger to him telling him to go to hell on the other side.

I walk all the way back to campus just thinking about this throughout the whole walk. I called my mom telling her I want to transfer to another school because I don't think I will be able to face Ethan another year with his friends being there. Mom doesn't understand why I am thinking like this all of sudden.

''I can't do this mom.'' I kept on crying and couldn't stop myself from crying. She told me I need to calm down. She told me I was having another panic attack and will need to go to the doctor to get it checked.

''Mom ppp please help me.'' I felt like my heart was failing me and the whole world was collapsing.

''Holly, calm down for me please.'' Mom is trying to talk me down but it is so hard to talk down at this moment. She made my dad call the R.A to help me because she doesn't think I will be that far to get to my own R.A.

''Mom, why is my whole world crashing down?'' I locked myself in a corner having a hard time breathing until Ethan came to save me. He caresses me by calming me down while my mother is on the phone and for some reason he was calming me down although this is his fault my panic attacks are coming back.

I have been battling with them for a long time and they didn't come often like they do now since I met Ethan. This man may be the life of me, yet he is the death of me.

So next chapter Holly makes a big decision to depict her life and her so called love life. Poor Holly.