Majoring in Murder

Chapter 34

Five months have passed since Agent Horowitz's visit. He never returned with any follow-up questions and I can honestly say that I didn't miss him. Not that I was there to know if he returned or not. I called and spoke with my mom last week. She told me that he still hadn't contacted them.

You see, I helped my dad get the major stuff out of the house and snuck out of the hotel in the middle of the night. Before leaving, I wrote a note telling them that I couldn't stick around for several reasons. The biggest being that it wouldn't be safe for them if I did. I left them the money I had received from Victor to help fund their move and allow them to start over fresh.

Another reason I had to leave was because I couldn't look my family in the eye after everything I'd done. Although they still loved and cared what happened to me, there was always that awkwardness between us. I felt it while I was with them at the end. It would probably only get worse and I couldn't face them with that stigma hanging over me. And then there's the ongoing investigation.

According to a story in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution a couple of weeks ago, the shooter who fled the shootout massacre at the Doraville restaurant still had not been apprehended. Given enough time, I'm sure the case will eventually go cold.

I felt it would be best to just make a clean break, no sappy goodbyes. I'm not one for such affairs and now my family and my problems have some distance between them.

My parents moved to a quiet neighborhood in the northwest. I won't say exactly where. It's our own little version of the witness protection program. My mom tells me they bought a nice split-level house. It's only seven years old. Most of the money I gave them is gone. They used it to buy their new home outright. Our former house went into foreclosure, leaving my dad's credit in shambles, so they couldn't have financed if they wanted to. I was at least glad to hear that the money covered what expenses my trouble had caused. That's just something else to weigh on my conscience. My mom said they were able to bank a few thousand dollars as a cushion. It was also good to hear that they are both working despite this shitty economy.

You're probably wondering how I keep in touch with them. It's like this, my mom called my cell phone after they got settled. Probably another attempt to reach me after my disappearing act. I memorized their new phone number, got a privately listed number for a new phone I purchased, and I call her once in a while. The instances where I check up on them are growing farther apart though. It was hard making that first contact since leaving. My mom wailed hysterically. It was bad.

In the beginning, she asked me where I was and pleaded with me to come back. I told her that I couldn't and explained why; saying that my note pretty much summarized everything. She said she loved me and worried about my safety. You know how moms get. So, I call once in a while to ease her mind. It helps me cope too, about what happened and how I affected their lives.

I still live in Georgia. I've moved into an apartment. I'm finding it difficult to let my guard down completely after everything I've been through. Since kicking my drinking problem, many nights I wake in a panic from a nightmare where someone's chasing me. It's always the same; I'm leaving Lucky Chen's, trying to get to the MARTA station. I sense a presence behind me, you know, like someone's lingering just over your shoulder. I never see anyone there, but I know someone is following me. In one of the dreams, I see a shadow duck behind a corner when I turn around. The feeling is intense—Oh, man, is it intense!—and sometimes I immediately wake right after turning to look behind me. I sit up in the darkness, my heart racing and covered in sweat. I don't see them ending anytime soon.

I have a girlfriend now. Her name's Meredith. One of the things I like the most is the way she keeps me grounded. She's the one who really helped me kick my alcohol problem. I've heard that opposites attract, and I guess it's true, because she's definitely the yin to my yang. While I'm normally quiet and guarded, she's more outspoken. We get along great and I enjoy spending time with her. Being with her helps make me feel normal and keeps my mind from dwelling on the unspeakable things I've done. She has no knowledge of my past. No one knows about that except my parents. I like it that way, but I know it's a part of me now and will never go away. At least there's no awkwardness between us and I can look her in the eye.

Another thing that drew me to Meredith is that she disdains guns. Trips to the country with my dad to shoot was something I always looked forward to, but shooting isn't something I care to do for recreation any more.

I'm working a shitty cashier job at an Arby's restaurant, but I can barely make ends meet. Being broke much of the time, Meredith and I spend a lot of time watching movies at home. She's a treasure trove of trivia and has a knack for remembering actors' names. We can watch an obscure film and she'll name most, if not all, of the people in it. We've made a game of it, trying to guess an actor's name before the other. Of course, she's usually the winner.

I had to drop out of college because I can't pay the tuition. That's not the only reason though. There's also Daniel to consider. I couldn't face him after everything that went down. Speaking of Daniel...

A week ago, while Meredith and I were at the mall, I thought I saw Daniel. I hadn't seen him since leaving UGA. I'm sure he was grieving the death of Carlo, so his mind was probably preoccupied with that. I kind of felt guilty about it, but all I had to do was remember how evil his uncle was and the guilt went away. It was weird to see him at the mall because it was so far out of his way.

The first time I saw him was in the food court. I spotted him as he weaved through the crowd of shoppers who were deciding where to eat. That's when I dismissed it, chalking it up to someone who bared a strong resemblance.

That wasn't the case though.

The next time I saw him was when we were leaving. We walked out of Sears to go to the car. As I backed out of the parking space, I saw Daniel in my rearview mirror. He emerged from the same exit. He paused when he recognized my car, turned, and started off toward the other side of the parking lot. There was no mistaking it. It was him. I haven't seen him since then.

Although my life has drastically changed, I have to remind myself that I'm still here, still breathing. The problems I've had since have been petty compared to what I faced while I was under Carlo's control. I keep reminding myself that if I can survive working for the mob, I'm sure I can survive most anything.