𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

XIX. Oh No, He Likes

     Chapter 19,
      Oh No, He Likes
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" Look it doesn't even matter, he wasn't mind to begin with and he won't become mine in the ending either. But I can be happy for him in the middle. "

~ Silas's POV ~

    I felt like the literal queen of the world knowing that Bruce Yamada asked me to the dance, I felt more honored than anything, I felt like there was nothing that I couldn't do and I felt like there might be a tiny spark between us.
   I was giving myself too much hope over the fact that he asked me to the dance and I wasn't liking it but I couldn't stop doing it, I was just imagining my life with him and how perfect it would be.

    I was living in the moment, I knew that something would mess it up but at this point in time, I didn't care nor did I want to care either, I wanted to believe that I may be eligible for Bruce's love and that he would end up picking me.
  But I couldn't let myself get too far ahead, I knew that this wasn't going to end well for me if he ends up telling me that someone else caught his eye and he was going to pursue them instead of me.

   Sometimes I wish that I could stop feeling this way for him, when you fall in love with your best friend the outcomes are almost never good and you end up losing that person for good, and I couldn't imagine not being able to joke around with Bruce.
   I don't want to imagine it either, I want to kill these feelings before I end up hurting my own with the thoughts that I have, maybe talking with him and asking him if he wants to hang out will make me feel as if he's just a friend and nothing more.

    That's a great idea, I mean when you fully get to know someone you, you realize that you would never date them as you can see them becoming a brother or sister to you, that's what I'm hoping for anyways.
   As I waited for the final bell to ring, I grabbed all of my things and shoved them in my bookbag, I knew that my friends would be looking for me but I would be looking for him, like I always do.

    It's a habit that I couldn't break, but once that bell rang, I ran out of the class looking for Bruce, excited to hang out with him and burn these feelings away.
   So as I dodged every student running down the stairs, I made it to the second floor since I was on the third and ran down the almost empty halls, I knocked on the door of my algebra teacher and walked in when there was no response.

    I wish I didn't, there was Bruce Yamada talking to Stacy McLaughlin, she was just as popular as him but she was a total bitch and everyone knew it, he grabbed her hand and I felt tears threaten to spill from my eyes, the stinging sensation bothered me so I just walked away.
   Feelings can crush you the wrong way if you don't prepare yourself, I walked down to the first floor and left the school where I saw Lisa, Vance, Robin, Finney, and Donna wait for me.

   The first person to notice my tears was Robin, he was always quick to notice everything about me as if we had grown up together, he sprinted over to me to ask me what happened but I couldn't say anything.
   I felt like I was being overdramatic but my feelings were hurt, I should have prepared myself much more before I walked down the stairs and entered the room.

    "He doesn't like me.."

   I whispered into Robin's ear as tears finally spilled from my eyes, I felt vulnerable in front of everyone because of a boy which made me believe that they would think I'm weak and stupid, I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath.
   Going to highschool and having to live an experience you don't want to live is hard but falling for your best friend while going to highschool and living an experience you don't want to live in is harder.

    "Oh, you poor thing.."

  Donna spoke as she let go of Finney's hand and walked over to me, hugging me tightly and telling me that everything will be alright, I knew that she was telling the truth as this one little heartbreak doesn't define the next lover that comes into my life.
   I looked at her and took a deep breath, Robin began to think about all the ways he could talk to Bruce without hitting him while Finney was trying to defuse the situation.

    " Look it doesn't even matter, he wasn't mine to begin with and he won't become mine in the ending either. But I can be happy for him in the middle. "

   I whispered, I knew that I couldn't change the past to fit my expectations of the future but I can always focus and support the present which means that I don't have to become salty over a crush gone wrong, everything will work in my favor.
   A positive mindset only equals a positive outcome, which means even though it's not me he has his eyes one, I can always have his back until it's my turn for love.