Why am I like this? || Dorlene ||

Chapter 4

18th of September 1985

Marlene sat in her defence against dark arts class, zoned out. Everything has been a mess lately. Absolutely everything. Marlene is trying to figure out her feelings, for both the girl and the boy. She has been catching slytherins staring at her for no reason as if there were rumours going around about her. She had to find this out as soon as possible. Marlene was definitely not the type to like to ponder about things for a long time. She just didn't know what to do. Guess who Sirius asked out on a date to Hogsmeade today. Of course, Marlene. She grabbed her transfiguration book and started to read. (You know it's bad when she reads out of free will) She read just to keep her mind off of things. It helped a little bit. Her thoughts definitely calmed down but they didn't stop bothering her.

–Time skip brought to you by my wife Sage–

6 PM, time to get ready. Marlene brushed out her hair and retouched her eyeliner. And of course changed into some more good-looking date clothes. She obviously couldn't go out looking bad. 6:30, Sirius is probably waiting now. I swear to Merlin, if he tries to do anything, uhhh- dirty, or uhh yeah that's a no She thought. She just wanted to get this date over. They arrived at Hogsmeade and walked into 'The Three Broomsticks' and started talking. Just small talk. About school gossip. About school stuff. The O.W.L's exams that were coming this year. Basically just small talk. Then Sirius started flirting out of nowhere. Marlene found this a little weird, maybe because of the boy's weird flirting moves or tactics or whatever it's called or because she didn't feel anything for him anymore. She excused herself from the table. The excuse was that her eyeliner smudged a little and she had to go fix it. WHen she came back, she took a deep breath.

"Ummm, Sirius, I don't know if this is working out for me" She said, barely getting the words out of her mouth.

"Oh, uh... So you're breaking up?" Sirius said with a little disappointed look on his face.

"Uhh, yeah... this is getting awkward"

"Oh ok, are we still friends?"

"Yes, of course. I just don't know if I'm ready for a serious relationship, all relationships I've had weren't that really serious" Marlene said, knowing it wasn't true, but what did Sirius know about her past relationships. Plus she needed an excuse

"By the way, I'm not blind. I see how you look at Remus" Marlene said because it slipped out accidentally. She didn't actually mean to say it.

Sirius looked at her in shock. He tried to stutter out some words but failed and rushed to the toilet.

"It's okay, really, I actually like a girl so I get you" (I'm sorry for switching her up so fast lol) Marlene said, when Sirius came out of the bathroom. He looked like he couldn't believe what the girl had just told him.

–Time skip brought to you by my wife–

Marlene was going to get ready for bed, she was completely exhausted after this day, flirting with Sirius, confessing to Sirius she likes a girl (she was sure at this point), breaking up with the guy she dreamed of since second year and all the overthinking. She was just tired of this day. She went to the dorm bathroom to take a shower and change. It was 8 PM, early for her to go to bed but she just did it because she couldn't do anything else. She could read. Or do her weekend homework so Lily didn't have to scold her for leaving it to the last minute. Of course she appreciated Lily, but she got annoying sometimes. Is Dorcas actually a lesbian? Or are those just rumours? If those are rumours, are they at least the truth  Then Lily and Mary walked in.

"Your back early" Mary pointed out

"Yeah" Marlene answered, caught off guard

"Are you ok?" Lily said.

"Yes! Just leave me alone! " Marlene snapped "Lily, you're not my mum! Stop acting like it!"

Lily looked ashamed and Mary looked like she found this conversation extremely awkward.

"So, how was your date with Black?" Mary asked, trying to brighten up the atmosphere

"We broke up" Marlene mumbled in an annoyed tone, feeling miserably tired.

Mary sat down beside and tried to hug her but Marlene just turned around, away from the hug. She just wanted the two other girls to leave her alone with her thoughts. Mary understood that and got off of the bed. Marlene just wanted to sleep but she couldn't fall asleep. She was overthinking everything. Every. Single. Thing. That happened during the last month. Overthinking  every single thing. After lots of effort she could finally feel relaxed and slowly drift into sleep.

Word count: 804

A/N: Hi,  this chapter was a little hard for me to write because idk anything about dating (idc that ive watched/read a lot of romance). But yeah, love yall <3