Blue Gucci - Yoonkook/Kookgi

Chapter eight - three days to opening night (early evening)

As was common in the UK with regards to the weather, rain had started falling on the car journey back to the hotel, almost emphasising the low-spirited feelings that Yoongi was welling in. He found himself back in the window of his hotel room, nursing a hot coffee as he stared out over a dark, grey London, watching the rain soak the city lights. His body felt heavy, the physical exhaustion was meshing with the mental to make him feel numb. 

In terms of long days, today had felt like one of the longest. The clock in his room read 11:30pm yet he didn't feel tired at all, even knowing that the group had a day full of dress rehearsals at the venue tomorrow. His brain was working overtime trying to figure his feelings out, but at the same time getting nowhere at all.

He recalled earlier how he had been so quick to rush out of the car at the hotel and get away from Jungkook, confusion and irritation still hanging over him like a cloud... and now he almost regretted acting the way he had. He wished he had talked it through with him whilst they'd had the chance, instead of storming off and ignoring his heart. None of this was Jungkook's fault but, somehow, he had managed to make it so. He genuinely hadn't meant to. He couldn't imagine how Jungkook must be feeling and his stubbornness made him not want to know. 

How heartless of him, he mused.

It was very unusual for Yoongi to have outbursts like the one he'd had today, he was shocked at himself too, never mind wondering how the rest of his group felt. Usually stoic, calm and emotionless, there had just been something about that radio presenter that had made him so incredibly mad. Not only was he brash and rude, he clearly didn't know how to handle real people very well, never mind celebrities. You just couldn't go around being crass and invasive like that, delving into information that didn't concern him and making it into a joke. Private lives were called private lives for a reason and Yoongi felt especially sensitive about that right now.

The gall and shock of Matt's actions had stirred emotions in him that he had never, ever felt before, the quiet persona was instantly gone at the thought of his group being personally attacked. Anger had coursed through him, his blood had felt hot, and the feeling of Jungkook's caring fingers on the back of his neck had only spurred him on to protect them.

Jungkook.... 

His thoughts turned back to the man of his affections and he let out a small sigh, taking a sip of coffee that he thought might distract him, but it didn't. His heart wrenched. He had tried his best not to look at Jungkook in the car and, for the most part, had succeeded... but having stolen a quick glance at him before getting out at the hotel his heart had dropped at the forlorn look on his face. His eyes were dull and sad, his chest low and hands clasped tightly in his lap. If there was ever a human embodiment of the word 'down', it had been Jungkook in that moment.

But of course, he would have seemed down, Yoongi realised. His eruption had basically denied the fact that they were developing feelings for each other. And very publicly, too. Had he taken two steps back after taking so long to take one step forward? It was so difficult to try and arrange the jigsaw puzzle that was his brain. 

He pulled his legs up to his chest as he sat in the window, resting his chin on his knees, it almost felt like if he made himself smaller it would make his problems feel that way too. But the sinking feeling in his soul was only amplified. He rubbed a free hand over his face frustratedly, his eyes were starting to feel heavy but the last thing he wanted to do was sleep.

In an attempt to help still his mind, he decided to mentally bullet point everything he knew right now.

Number one: for unexplainable reasons, coming back from the group break had made him feel differently about Jungkook.