Original Sin (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 29🌻

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A sign at the entrance of the hotel announced the Mizuno Publishers' Annual Mystery Writers Award Ceremony, with a party honoring the winners to follow. The hotel in Hibiya was one of a handful of gigantic hotels in the country, and its largest hallroom was particularly famous. Many people passed through each day.

Gulf remembered hearing that Mew was going to put in an appearance at the party. He thought he had laid the affair to rest long ago, but a flame still smoldered inside, nearly impossible to extinguish. He finally understood what it meant to carry a torch for someone.

In the end, Kurahashi's package had been found at the delivery company's Kyoto office. It wasn't clear where the mistake occured.

Kurahashi had apologized for speaking so angrily to Gulf; he'd said he was worn out from the funeral. But Kurahashi hadn't been at fault, so getting an apology from him only made Gulf feel worse.

Once Gulf had returned to a normal routine after going through so much chaos, he realized how empty his heart was. He had celebrated every day of his life when he was Mew's lover. No matter how stressful work got, the thought of seeing Mew had been enough to make his day.

Thinking about Mew wasn't going to help anything. Gulf was going to go see Bright that day. He had to forget about Mew and pull himself together.

Bright had finished his first book with Sozan Novels, so Gulf was going to see him on the pretext of giving him review copies of the book. But Gulf also had to give Bright the answer he'd been anticipating for so long.

Gulf had to cheer up or else he would only hurt the poor boy.

Gulf had hesitated before rejecting Bright because of his relationship with Mew. But with everything over, Gulf didn't care if his relationship with Mew was exposed or not, so he thought it would be a simple matter to tell Bright they couldn't be together.

Bright was meeting a friend at the party, but he'd invited Gulf to an Italian restaurant inside the hotel afterwards. A mid-level resturant like that would fall under his company expenses, so Gulf didn't have any objections. At the appointed time, Gulf headed for the restaurant.

"Hello, sir," a waitress said as Gulf walked into the restaurant.

She seated Gulf in the non-smoking section at a two person table that looked out on the street. Bright was not there yet, so Gulf glanced over the menu before ordering an iced coffee. He turned his gazed casually out to the street, and his face tensed immediately. He saw Mew and---that was the third time with the woman, there was no mistaking it. Mew was with his editor from Six Winds. They were dressed casually, so there was no way to tell whether they were on the job or off. All Gulf could be sure of was that they shared a rich familiarity.

If Mew looked his way, Gulf would be seen. He hoped to escape their notice in his awkward situation. He bent over his table, as if praying, and Mew passed the lounge with a placid expression. Gulf was relived. But that very same moment, a terrible chill filled his heart. Mew hadn't even notice him. The man who Gulf had loved so much hadn't even registered his existence.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

Gulf heard a chipper voice overhead, in stark contrast to the returning calm of his heart. Looking up, he saw Bright.

"I just got here myself," Gulf forced  smile onto his face.

"I just saw Mew Suppasit. He had a brochure from a wedding parlor---are you two getting married?"

As Gulf searched for an answer to that thoughtless joke, Mew came into the lounge, still in the woman's company. Gulf had no idea where to look. With the worst possible luck, his eyes met Mew's. The man recognized Gulf and walked up to him boldly.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Mew smiled as if nothing had happened.

"It's good to see you again, sir."

Gulf was forced to stand up and bow to Mew and the woman. As if pulled along behind him, Bright stood and paid his respects to Mew as well.

"Are you two going to the party?"

"No," Gulf cut in. He pushed away the momentory hesitation that sprung up and continued, "This is a private matter."

"Oh, then I apologize for interrupting," Mew said, twisting his mouth into a slight smile before following his waitress to another table.

I lied.

Gulf had only done it because Mew had insisted that he not see Bright on his own time. Gulf had wanted to get a reaction out of Mew.

It was a calculating, hateful lie.

But Mew had let it roll over him like nothing, and that plunged a dagger deep into Gulf's heart. He watched Mew begin chatting with the woman after they were seated. The sight rocked Gulf's heart deeply.

I hate this. I really hate this.

Gulf didn't want to forgive Mew. No matter how the man justified it, Gulf didn't want anybody but himself close to Mew. Gulf didn't care how petty it was; he wanted to be the only one standing at Mew's side.

Gulf was struck by an impulse to run over to where Mew was sitting, fiery jealousy smoldering beneath the surface. Maybe Gulf had always had such violent emotions within him. Maybe that profound sensitivity had always lain dormant within him. Gulf squeezed his his hands into tight fists, so terrified of his intense emotions that he shrunk back.

"Mister Gulf? Are you okay?"

"Oh---excuse me."

When Bright called his name, Gulf fell back into his seat and turned a smile on the young man across from him. Though his cheeks were taut, he managed to smile. That day had to be the day that he gave Bright an answer. He couldn't afford to hesitate. If he accepted Bright's offer, he would be going back to his dishonesty, to the ugly part of him that had tossed Bow aside.

But he couldn't go back to Mew, either.

If Gulf was any more dishonest, he would end up hurting someone. He didn't want that. He didn't want to hate himself anymore. He'd spent more than enough time being mired in those terrible feelings.

TBC