Original Sin (MewGulf AU)

🌻Chapter 25

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On his way home, Gulf stopped at a convenience store near the subway station to buy some alcohol. Once he was home, he took a shower and then sat on the edge of his bed to drink his beer. He'd drunk a little bit while playing pool with Bright, but at some point he'd stopped holding back. Being drunk was a rare event for him.

At first, Bright had been surprised at the dedciation with which Gulf played nine-ball, but he soon began teaching him earnestly. Maybe ha had taken pity on Gulf.

Bright improved Gulf's form and taught him tricks for estimating angles to hit a ball. Gulf felt like he had improved a litle bit. All he needed was some more practice to take away a win against Mew.

Normally, Gulf would have poured the beer into a glass, but he couldn't work up the energy for that. Drinking directly from the can, the chilly steel fest like it would freeze his lips. The bear was piercing cold in his mouth and bittersweet.

Lying back on his bed, Gulf's eyes began to sting. He curled into a ball, feeling a rush of emotions that threatened to break their bonds and overflow at any moment. Being by himself only invited feelings of desolation.

Mew's caprice had started their relationship. That made it pretty amazing that they'd stayed together for more than six months. Gulf was just an ordinary editor, but his lover was a popular author whose newest work had been greeted by the eager eunthisiasm of thousands of people.

Gulf couldn't just give up on Mew or his writing. He only wished that he could have chosen one of the two to love. Then he would have been able to focus on being either Mew's lover or his editor. But Gulf didn't have any confidence anymore. It would be much easier  if he could be demoted to an editor with benefits.

As that ridiculously self-pitying idea crossed Gulf's mind, his cellphone suddenly began ringing. Gulf reached out for it lethargically and saw Bright's name on the screen.

"Oh, Mister Gulf? I'm really sorry. It's me, Bright."

"Thank you for your help today. Is something bothering you?"

"No, I mean, you just looked really sad when you left, so I was worried about you."

"I'm fine. I had a great time learning pool with you today."

"Are you upset because of Mew Suppasit?"

Bright penetrated straight to the heart of the matter and Gulf didn't know what to say.

"No, it's---"

"I don't know if something happened, but you shouldn't be brooding all by yourself. You have to bounce your thoughts of someone else sometimes. And," the young man continued, "it's a lot better than doing nothing. It must be hard when your business and private life are all mixed up, but there are a lot of people waiting for Mew Suppasit's next masterpiece, so you have to keep trying. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

Warmth spread through Gulf's heart. It was as if a fresh, warm breeze was blowing into his sealed up heart.

"Thank you for that, but...I'm fine."

Bright was right. Mew's reader were waiting. There were thousands of fans eagerly waiting to read more about the world that Mew had created. It was Gulf's job to deliver a fantastic story to them.

He hung up the phone and sat up. He reached out to the bookshelf and took down Mew's Emergence. Gulf had liked the story's climax so much and read it so many times that the book fell open to that page.

Gulf vividy recalled his feelings when he first read the story.

Of course, he had told Mew how he felt on the same day, but that wasn't the only reason he remembered it. Emergence had marked a change in direction for Mew. Gulf was proud to have created a story like that with the great writer.

Maybe he should try to tell Mew what was on his mind.

Gulf wasn't usually the type to sit around waiting for things to fall apart. He had to try to untangle the knotted threads of class, position, and self-criticism that lay between Mew and himself. If Gulf didn't strip away all those affectations and face up to his own feelings, nothing would ever happen. He knew that in his heart.

But Mew had no intention of talking to Gulf and Gulf's resolve was too weak to force the issue, so he was always overwhelmed. He couldn't summon the courage to face Mew.

His heart was terrified of facing Mew, since the man had so often hurt him and forced him into submission. It was because Gulf loved him that he was afraid of being hurt. He feared his suffering when Mew used him like a plaything.

TBC