The Queen's Hand

Part 2: The Confession

Link had been sitting at his table for over an hour, staring into the fire under the stove, as though the answers he sought were hidden somewhere in the popping and crackling of the logs.

He'd made excellent time to Hateno, the town was quiet as usual, and his house had been a welcome sight after the long ride. All should have been well. However, the peaceful solitude he'd thought he'd wanted, was doing nothing to quiet his mind. In fact, the silence around him only seemed to magnify the roaring of his own thoughts.

Rubbing his face, he rested his elbow on the table and lowered his forehead into his hand, staring deeper into the orange flicker of the flames. Never in his life had so many contrary emotions overwhelmed him at once. Elation, despair, relief, fear, hope, regret – all clashing against one another as they battled in his chest for dominance.

He knew that he would need to work through it all if he ever hoped to function normally again, which was an admittedly daunting task. There were multiple things to consider, but if he approached it rationally, taking on only one aspect at a time, he might be able to fight his way through and collect himself once again.

And if he were going to focus on one thing at a time, he would start with the thing calling out from the very center of his mind with the loudest voice of all...

She loved him.

As the thought flowed through him, he realized that he'd been in such a state the last few hours that he hadn't had time to simply enjoy the revelation. She'd meant everything to him for so long, and now to find out that she loved him in return... the feeling was unlike anything he had ever known. Smiling, he leaned back in his chair, and just for a moment, basked in the joy as it melted into his soul.

But transcendent as the moment was, he knew it wouldn't last. For even as he sat reveling, there was another voice calling out, quieter but steady, reminding him that it was only a dream. A beautiful dream perhaps, but a dream all the same. Her love, though it made him happier than he'd ever believed he could be, changed nothing.

She was still the Queen, he was still a knight, and no amount of love could alter that.

With misery once again rearing its head, Link pulled his chair closer to the fire and tended the dying flames, slowly poking and prodding at the logs as they smoldered.

What would he do? Should he tell her what he had done? Admit his guilt and beg her forgiveness? It felt like the right thing to do, yet he hesitated. Confessing to her would not only cause him embarrassment, but it would surely cause her a great deal as well. His own shame he was willing to bear, as it was well deserved, but the Queen had done nothing. She did not deserve to be mortified by her private thoughts, which he should never have seen in the first place. He alone was the guilty party, and he alone should suffer for his actions.

And he would suffer, there was no doubt in his mind. The knowledge itself would be the price he would have to pay, and already the cost was steep. Sooner or later she should marry, perhaps to the King of Folstrom, or perhaps to someone else, and that alone would have been painful enough. But now, to know that she loved him... to know that she would never know that he felt the same... to know what they could have had if things had been different...

With a wince, he closed his eyes as a hollow stab shot through his chest. Yes, his punishment would be more than fitting. With a sigh, he looked up as the sound of gentile pattering began drumming against his roof. It had begun to rain.

Standing, Link moved the chair back to its place at the table and walked to the window. It looked as though the rain would last most of the night, which was good. The sound would help him sleep – that was, if sleep would even be possible – and it would also mean a quiet night at the castle, which would be easier to return to tomorrow.