Sweet Love of Mine

Those Three Words...

Why had she come? This was madness, there was no way he'd want to see her. Not now. How had she been so easily persuaded? But Debs was right. She needed to be sure. She needed to see him one last time and then she could move on. Just once more to prove to herself if no-one else that she didn't really love him more than any man she had ever laid eyes on. More than life itself...

She'd lain awake all night, mulling over her chat with Debbie. Her friend, for Debs was guaranteed to always be that, had listened, not judged then slapped her soundly with the truth. Just exactly as she always had. Just exactly as Rosie needed. Of course Debbie had sympathised, she was still her best friend even when she was giving her tough love, but ultimately she'd been right.

Tom had never lied to her about the woman. It had all been a terrible misunderstanding. She'd filled the blanks in herself and assumed the answers. Saw what her infinite capacity for self doubt wanted to see, heard what she thought she heard, not what was actually said. At the end of the day, she'd left him, not the other way round. Her pride stopped her taking all the blame though. If he'd told her the truth from day one , she reasoned, there would never have been any reasons for mistrust or misunderstanding. Never any doubt he actually wanted to be with her.

But now? After that note... that bitterness? Even his seemingly endless patience and grace had to have it's limits.

She had to finally lay this particular ghost to rest.

So now, at last, she was back. Where it had all started. Jack Daniels and kisses in the alley. How she wished she could go back and tell herself to hold on to him and never let him go. Regrets, she had a few.... the phrase made her smile to herself. Their whole relationship seemed to have been one long playlist.

Looking in the slightly grubby bathroom mirror, two younger - and she noted with an inward sigh prettier- women giggled together as they applied their lipstick.

"Tom's back in tonight" the brunette said sighing, making doe eyes at her friend,
"Yeah, not been for ages. If only we stood a chance. I hear he's off the market."
"Oh God - still?"
"Yeah, some secret woman apparently. Absolutely madly in love so they say. D'you think she's here?' Her blonde friend added.
"Mhmm, bet she is. We'll never know, guards his private life jealously. After all that nonsense with you know who". They giggled together and looked over at Rosie briefly. She smiled and continued to eavesdrop, brushing her hair very slowly.

"Never goes to afterparties either now. Not interested in that side of things apparently. " Rosie tried not to look interested but her ears were burning.
"Oh well, his loss" the two of them left cackling wildly and Rosie let our a breath she didn't know she was holding.

So he was with someone? Taking it cool and cautious eh? She knew she should be happy for him, should be glad he had found someone he could love, who could love him back without all the baggage. She wasn't his girl anymore, she'd seen to that, so why did she feel like crying?

Taking a deep breath, she left the bathroom and made her way to her old regular spot at the side of the stage, near the foot of the steps. The staff, of course, all knew her from way back in the pre-Tom days so nobody questioned her presence. In fact, Jamie, one of the regular security staff even hugged her! He was quite literally 6' tall and 6'wide. A mountain of a man with the heart of kitten.
"Good to see you Rosie. You back for good? Tom's on tonight - you waiting for him?"
She shook her head "He doesn't know I'm here Jamie" she said quietly "he's got someone new apparently."
Janie looked at her oddly " if you say so" he shrugged " good to see you anyway. Say hi to Debs for me!" And he walked off to block the light on another small planet for a while.

Grabbing a drink from the bar on her way had been a good idea as the place began to fill up. She had a brief remembrance of the first night they met and the trouble she'd had getting a drink. Things had come a long way since then and she looked down with a wry smile, that night was where her habit of straight Jack D had started.