Sweet Love of Mine

She Loves You....

"Leave Tom"

She looked at her feet, unable to bring herself to see his face.  The face she longed to kiss, the face she had longed to be hers and hers alone.  The face of a liar.

The words branded themselves onto his heart. What had he done. Lost the woman he was certain would be the love of his life, that's what.  And it was all his own fault. Suddenly it was all too much, even for a man like him. Especially for a man like him. A man who'd prided himself on putting other people in front on himself. A man who usually made sure everyone else had exactly what they needed and more. Now, in the most important of circumstances, he had failed. He'd failed himself but worse still, he'd failed Rosie.

"I'm not saying goodbye Rosie, I promise you I will fix this. I have to." he sounded broken.  A final, lingering touch on her hand made her close her eyes and turn away.  He closed the door behind him.  

Deafening silence.  The sound of her dreams shattering.

She sat down on the sofa and cried.

On the other side of the door, Tom sat down heavily on the doorstep and rubbed his face, trying to pull himself together.  Pulling out his phone, he ordered an Uber and waited. He had to go home, much as he wanted to just spend every moment here waiting for her, he couldn't. At the very least, he needed clean clothes. And to speak to Debbie.  Thank goodness he knew how to get hold of her.  He'd asked Rosie for it on their date.  He'd told her it was for a surprise - which at the time had been true -  now it would be a lifeline.

She would be his best - only - shot at redemption. He only hoped she wouldn't just say 'I told you so' as she beat the living crap out of him . 

Why hadn't he trusted Rosie with his identity? He was a complete idiot. 'If only' wasn't a phrase he liked but it applied in spades right now. If only David hadn't been a total shit. If only he had told her who he was. If only he had listened to Debbie. If only Rosie loved him. Now, unless there was a miracle, she never would. 

He was wrong though. He didn't need a miracle to make her love him. she already did but he just had to figure that for out himself.

Rosie stood at the side of the window and watched as Tom sat, head in hands on her steps. It had been 15 minutes now, what was he waiting for?  He'd taken his phone out and dashed off a couple of texts. Then he'd put it away and just sat. He looked so sad, so devastated she almost believed he didn't mean to hurt her. Almost. Her heart was screaming to run to him, take him in her arms and tell him it was all going to be ok. Her head said stay put.

As he drove away in a taxi, Rosie felt that same heart leave her body and shatter into a million pieces on the steps where he'd been. You couldn't be hurt like that by someone you didn't love. She loved him, of that she was sure,  but she felt couldn't trust him.   Tears spilling down her cheeks she sat back down on the sofa. She was so disappointed.

With him, with Debbie, with life. Most of all with herself.

Debbie was lying on her bed, face pack on, earphones in, just relaxing.  She'd had a busy couple of days, all things considered. Now she needed peace and quiet. She would call Rosie later, see how things were going with Tom. 

Tom Hiddleston. What to do about Tom. He was a lovely guy, sincere and down to earth. Supremely talented and yes, very handsome. Despite herself, she had to admit, in the flesh he was incredibly attractive. Not her type of course, her heart belonged to her Adonis, but she could see it. How Rosie STILL hadn't connected the dots she would never know!

Sometimes she despaired of her friend. It made her smile to think of the surprise Rosie was in for. Legions of women would kill to seduce him and here she was, his majesty about kneeling at her feet and she had no clue whatsoever!

She was just wondering how to bring the subject up when she was disturbed by her phone ringing. Removing a cucumber slice and popping it in her mouth, she reached over and picked up her phone. A number she didn't recognise.

Normally, she'd have just hit ignore but, like all the best movies, her Spidey senses were tingling. This was important. She clicked on answer.

"Hello?"

"Debbie?"

"Yes" she said carefully " who is this?" she was almost sure she knew but... 

"Tom" and with the flat tone in that one word she knew he'd messed up.

"We can discuss how you got my number later. What did you do?" She sat up, suddenly so much less relaxed.

"Can I come over? We need to talk."

"What.Did.You.Do?" She enunciated the words very clearly to make her point.

"I fucked up Debbie. She hates me." He burst into tears, all pretence at manly composure lost in that one sentence. Even Debbie had to admit he sounded genuinely broken. She wasn't letting him away with it that easily though. Oh no. Rosie came first.

"Ok, calm down. Here's my address..."

"So then she threw me out."  he was sitting on her kitchen chair, sipping tea and looking about as broken as a man can look.  Under other circumstances, Debbie would have had strong words with the woman that did this to anyone, let alone someone like Tom.  Other circumstances.  This was Rosie however, and he, well he kinds deserved it.

"You fecking idiot. I told you not to mess her around." she didn't mince her words and he looked like she'd slapped him, making her feel just a little bad.  She shook her head. "Tom, look" she had been leaning against the sink while she listened so she walked back over and sat next to him. "She told you the story didn't she?  David?" he nodded silently, eyes downcast. "Well, you can understand then can't you. " It wasn't a question, it was a statement of fact. Again he nodded.

"What do I do?" he said, looking up at her.

"What are you prepared to do?"  Debbie replied "Until you know that, you can't do anything." she shrugged.  "If I know Rosie - and believe me I do - leave her be.  Let her settle, give her time and space and she'll come round, realise you did it with the best of intentions. If I know her, she's tearing herself apart right now. She thinks a lot of you and you're not a bad man Tom, even I can see that. " She winked and smiled, making him return it with a watery sounding 'thanks'.  "You're just an idiot!" she punched his arm gently.

"I know, I just... oh I don't know.  Maybe I'm a bit jaded by all this celebrity nonsense.  In my own way I have trust issues too." he ran a hand through his hair and Debbie nodded, sipping her tea. "Maybe I just don't trust myself to make the right choices anymore." 

"Well I can see where you'd get that from... you know... in the past" Debbie acknowledged and Tom smiled ruefully.

"Yeah, some pretty public fuckups eh?"   he stood up, "Look I should go.  And what you said about leaving her alone, I will try.  To be honest, work is going to be quite full on for a while, a new series so maybe it's the distraction I need.  Will you do me one favour though?"

"Another one?  Look how that ended Tom" she was sceptical but didn't say no.

"Agreed" he winced "but could you, would you, please, if she asks if I contacted you, please tell her I did? That I was - am - sorry.  That I was  - am - an idiot?" he put an hand on her arm "I think I love her Debbie, it's only been a couple of days but I really think I've fallen hard.  I can't lose her." he seemed so contrite, so genuine and so very, very sorry that she could only say one thing.

"Of course Tom" she reached up and kissed him on the cheek, rubbing the spot after as if to remove her kiss again. "There, now you can say you've kissed two beautiful women in 24 hours!" she winked and he relaxed visibly, amused even.

They walked out to her hallway and as he opened the door, he turned to her with a smile, looking almost human.

"Oh Debbie, like I said, I wish I had a friend like you." he put his arms around her and squeezed her gently in a warm and thankful hug. 

From within the bearhug, that she had to admit was really rather nice, a small but determined voice said

"Don't worry, you do Tom, you do."