Sweet Love of Mine

Separate Lives

4 months.  16 weeks.  112 days.  A long, long time when you've lost all hope.

Rosie looked out the window at the autumn leaves as they were chased by the wind from the trees across the square.  It was a sunny day in October, the cold wind cutting through the sunshine, reminding everyone that despite the sunshine and blue skies, winter was coming. She leant against the window frame and watched as people scurried by, wrapped up and hunched against the icy blast.  She had watched as the summer faded and the autumn took over.  She had watched as her pain had mellowed into a dull ache.  She had watched as Tom became a painful memory.  Painful because once the hurt had subsided, she realised too late, she still loved him.

Debbie had come round that fateful day, armed with donuts and tissues and unlimited hugs.  They had looked at one another for a moment, an unspoken apology, a spoken acceptance and then they had hugged.  Rosie had spent the rest of the day crying.  Debbie had spent the rest of the day - to her unending surprise - defending Tom.

"Give him a chance Rosie" she'd said "He did it with the best of intentions you know." Rosie had looked at her through puffy eyes and shaken her head.

"I can't - won't - take it back Debs, I'm not sure I can forgive him. He betrayed me in the worst way possible, you know that." she shrugged.  "Whatever his intentions, all he did was make me feel small and stupid again..." she trailed off as she burst into tears again.  Would she ever fell any differently?  

"Your pride will be the death of both of us you do know that?" Debbie smiled and patted her friend's hand. "But if I gotta go, I can't think of anyone I'd rather go with.  Well, other than Mark maybe!" she winked "Good kisser" she whispered and they both sniggered despite the situation.

Now though, 4 months , 16weeks, 112 days later, she did feel very differently.  She missed him.  But it was too late.  He'd been in America filming all summer so there had never been any danger of their paths crossing.  She had worked and she had run and she had spent evenings by her fire watching Marvel films.  Yes, she had finally succumbed to pop culture and discovered a new appreciation for all things Hiddleston.  Maybe he wasn't so bad after all, but now, as she stood and watched the leaves blow away it seemed like a metaphor for the remainder of her dreams.  He was never coming back - to her at any rate.

The doorbell rang and she looked to her left, Debbie stood on the step, waving a gloved hand all red nose and flushed cheeks with a smile like the Cheshire Cat.  Rosie turned and walked into the hall, letting her in with a flurry of leaves and an excited 

"OH MY GOD YOU WONT BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU!" she was almost jumping up and down with excitement and Rosie was instantly burning with curiosity,

"Go on then, you're about to explode so out with it!" she took Debbie's jacket and was instantly enveloped in a huge hug.

"LOOOOOOOK!" Debbie squealed, pulling back and and thrusting her hand in Rosie's face "LOOOOOOK!"

Rosie took one look and burst into happy tears "Oh my God he didn't? Oh congratulations, I'm so pleased for you!"  Debbie was now standing showing off her diamond and ruby engagement ring, her eyes shining. "I had no idea it was so serious, I mean , I knew it was serious but..." she ushered Debbie into the living room and they sat on the sofa together, holding hands excitedly.

"Well, to be honest he took me by surprise, but you know Mark, he's nothing if not decisive. I just cant believe it.  I am so happy Rosie, I really am.  Will you be my Maid of Honour pleeeeeeze?" she looked at her friend and Rosie could see the love for Mark just bubbling out of her.

"Try and stop me!" she grinned "Try and stop me."

They drank tea and ate hobnobs and talked all things wedding for a couple of hours then Debbie had to go and get her hair done so they walked back into the hall.  As she turned to go, she said "We're having a small get together for friends at The Engineer - you know the pub on the corner of the park near me? - tomorrow at 8, you'll be there wont you?  Might be talent!" she winked at Rosie who smiled, some things never changed. Debbie was still trying to get her hooked up.

"Oh Debs, you know I love you to bits but I don't know.  I'm not much of a pub person these days." 

"Listen, I understand, I really do but you can't lock yourself away forever. Tom wouldn't want you to and I don't want you to.  I'm not going to say there are more fish in the sea, I know in your heart, despite everything, you only want to catch one but time moves on Rosie, perhaps you should see what the Ocean has to throw at you these days. "

"I know Debs, I know.  I still miss him though.  With hindsight, I was wrong, I've told you that over and over.  Doesn't change anything though does it.  Just because I forgive him doesn't mean I get my happy ever after.  Look, how about we compromise, I'll meet you there about 730 and if I feel ok, I'll stay otherwise I can slip away before the commotion starts ok?"

Debbie looked at her and smiled "Ok, sounds like a plan.  Just PLEASE wear something NICE?  " she squinted at Rosie and sniggered "you have to take those bloody leggings off eventually!"

"OH YOU !" she punched her on the arm playfully and the two friends hugged tightly. "I'm so happy for you Debs, I love you almost as much as Mark does.  You're my rock" tears formed and she sniffed. "Now get going, or you'll look like a scarecrow for your big night!"

Closing the door behind her, Rosie turned and leant against it, still smiling.  As she walked back into the living room, she noticed Debbie had left her gloves.  Damn, her hands would be frozen in minutes.  Turning on her heel she rushed back out the door and down the steps.  She looked from left to right, no sign of her friend.  She suddenly caught sight of her face-timing someone as she crossed the road to the bus stop.  

"DEBBIE!" she shouted as she sprinted to catch her up. Debbie looked up and her face was a study of guilt as she saw her approach. Rapidly hanging up she turned and smiled.  Rosie stopped and handed her the gloves, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Your gloves..." she held them out. "You shouldn't do that crossing the road you know.  Who was so important?"

Debbie smiled trying to look calm, "Oh.. no-one.. just a friend.." she was vague in the extreme.  Rosie smelt a rat.

"If you're trying to set me up on a blind date, you can forget it." she said crossing her arms "I wont go at all if that's your game Miss" 

"No, honestly I'm not setting you up on a blind date, I promise." Debbie crossed her heart like they did as children, "It was just a friend, I was inviting them tomorrow OK?" she squeezed Rosie's arm "I know there is only one man for you and he wears a gold helmet and green leather.  No-one else need apply!" she waved and, taking her gloves, got on the bus.  "See you tomorrow - 730 DONT BE LATE!"