Sweet Love of Mine

True Lies

Pizza eaten and wine, what there was of it, drunk, they slumped together on the sofa listening to some 80's music Rosie had on a playlist.  She may not have been one for tv, but she loved her music. 

"So, " he began as he placed the pizza box carefully on the floor and Bentley sniffed around looking for shreds of cheese. "so, you don't watch much tv then?"  Or films?" he was dancing around the subject, looking for a way in. When he told her, and yet again his inconvenient conscience reminded him of that fact, he had to make it seem less of a big deal than it was.

"No, not really.  Just the news, some quiz shows, generally I have the history channel on most days.  Oh that and Top Gear - you know - the motoring show" she tossed the last bit in as an aside.  Tom stopped breathing.

"T- Top Gear?" he stuttered a little, trying not to give anything away.

"Yeah, the old stuff, not the new.  I liked the dynamic you know?  That and the stars driving that car with The Stig." she giggled "some of them were TERRIBLE"

Tom held his breath, he'd done the programme, driven the car.  Been terrible.  He waited for the realisation to dawn on her.  Realisation that apparently, was never to come.  She changed the subject without a second thought.

"Sorry!" she winced as they suffered some of the decade's less cool tracks and Tom laughed. His heart rate had started to come  back to somewhere near normal. Well as normal as it could be around her. God she was beautiful.

"It's ok, it doesn't matter you have terrible taste in music" he stroked her hair as she lay snuggled up to him, feet curled under her. "That's a bit like life really isn't it?  Taking the good and the bad" he smirked and waited for the retort.

"Only you could make The Frog Chorus into a study in philosophy" she giggled and poked him in the side.

"Oi! You've got pokey little fingers miss!" he pretended to be injured and rubbed his side, a pained expression furrowing his brow. "That deserves punishment" his eyes darkened and he sat up, grasping her arms.  She was far from scared though as she looked into his face.

"Oh and what might THAT be?" she retorted, biting her bottom lip and looking at him with a stare that left him in no doubt what she wanted. His insides burned at the thought.

"Not THAT for one thing" he growled making her squeal as he launched into tickling her.

"STOP STOP PLEASE" she cried not ten seconds later, "I SURRENDER" she was a squirming, laughing mess, trying desperately to get away from him.

"God you're an easy tickle" he laughed "if you were a spy they'd have the information from you in seconds! No need for Sodium Pentothal, your truth serum is a pair of these!" he brandished his hands and she squealed again, using the opportunity to jump up and away from him. "Oh no, you don't get away that easily!" he unfurled his long legs and stood, ready to block her if she tried to run.  And run she did, laughing wildly as his long arms reached out and pulled her to him. 

They stood for a moment, in each others arms, and just looked. His wrapped around her, hers placed on his chest defensively at first, now relished the feeling of his muscles beneath her fingers. Slowly, he unwrapped an arm and stroked a few hairs back from her face where they'd fallen in the struggle.  His fingers traced the line of her face, her jaw, round to her chin and tilted it up.

"Little One, you are so beautiful.  You really have no idea do you? What you're doing to me..." he spoke softly, almost as if to himself. She held his gaze, unable to speak. He knew he should tell her the truth, now before things got out of hand but he was afraid. "Rosie.."

"Not now" she whispered putting a finger to his lips "whatever it is can wait. Please" she begged as the music changed and now a beautiful, if familiar, song played.  The 80's music had finished and a more chilled collection taken over. "This is my favourite song "  she laid her head on his chest and pulled him closer. "One day, will you sing it for me?"

As he listened he recognised it. It was a modern masterpiece and he loved it too.  Tonight especially it seemed to echo his own feeling. 'Just forget the world', came the phrase. How apt.

"Yes darling" he whispered "I will.  One day everyone will hear me sing this for you." inwardly cursing his own cowardice, he knew he was in danger of ruining something very very special.  He couldn't do it.  He couldn't lose this - lose her.  He knew he was falling.  Hard.

3.15am.

4.00am

His watch measured the long night as his eyes burned through lack of sleep.  He groaned and sat up, pushing aside the blanket and swinging his legs round to out his feet on the floor.  Dear God he thought, help me?  I need to do the right thing but I'm scared. 

The sofa was comfortable, very comfortable and he had a soft blanket to cover himself with.  Physically he couldn't have asked for more, well apart from being in a warm bed, in Rosie's arms he sighed.  They had kissed, of course they had.  After the song, he had made love to her right there in the living room but stopped short of actually finishing the deed. It wasn't even his conscience, that had melted into oblivion the minute she had unbuttoned his shirt and kissed him like she had in the alley.  No, it was something else, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.  He knew she wanted him too, her body alone told him that. What was he waiting for? As he looked out of the window into the inky night, he was overcome with a desire to just hold her.  Not do anything, but just hold her.  His aching heart told him there might be precious few opportunities soon.  He walked over to the living room door and stopped.  He stood, the moonlight the only thing illuminating him. His hand moved to the door handle and he almost reached out to turn it.

No, he said to himself.  You're being selfish Hiddles, if she wanted you in her bed tonight you'd be there already.  Respect.  That was it.  Respect for her made him want to do the right thing.  If and when she invites you...he would wait as long as it took.  There was far more to the way he felt about her than just bedding her. And it began with telling her the truth. Silently he groaned and turned to lean on the door, running a hand through his hair.  Somewhere in the house Bentley yowled quietly.  Awake too eh son? he thought.  This was going to be a long night.

4am.

She looked at her clock on the bedside table and winced.  Still not sleeping, she turned and lay on her back in the dark.  The images of the evening passed before her sleep starved eyes and she smiled despite her weariness.  He had been passionate and loving and always respectful.  She had returned the favour and they had moved and loved together, so close yet so far from the ultimate destination.  She wanted him to come to bed with her, but not yet.    She wanted to give herself to him completely but something had made her hold back.  She was sure if she had asked, he would have been by her side right now.  But she hadn't and he wasn't. 

She hadn't wanted him to think that's all there was to it.  She felt a connection with him like no-one else.  Something deep down, something on a visceral level.  Now she just wanted him to hold her, to kiss her and to soothe her back to sleep. She wanted it more than anything but it might be too late. She pushed her fears aside and with a sigh she stood up.  Her satin slip clung to her and she felt the thin material brush her body, the feeling reminding her of Tom's lips and ending up with the same result.  She smiled and blushed in the dark, crossed the room and went into the hall.

Moments later she was standing at the living room door in the dark.  Her hand reached out to the door handle but stopped.  No, this wasn't the way.  furtively in the dark after only what was it?  24 ? 48? hours?  No, she didn't want him to think she was easy after all.  She would control herself, she would wait. If he still wanted to be with her after tonight - as she suspected he would - then that would be another matter entirely.  It wasn't so much judging him as testing herself.  Was she the kind of woman he deserved?  For in her heart she sensed he deserved someone loyal, who would put everything aside for him.  Not a doormat but someone to treat him well.  She suspected that had not always been the case.

Quietly she shuffled back to bed, disturbing Bentley as she went.  He yowled quietly and curled back up on his little bed in the hall.  This was going to be a long night.