Phan One Shots

Hold Me

*Not Edited*

Word Count: 1388

**Trigger Warning! Deals with abuse, self -hate, and some of bulimia (an eating disorder). Read at your own discretion!!**

Hold Me

"Look at you!" He shouts in Dan's face. He grabs Dan's face roughly, squeezing tight. "Look at you! You're not my son; you're an ugly piece of shit."

Dan pushes his arms away, wanting so badly to rub his cheeks. At this, he smacks Dan across the face.

"What makes you think you can do that? Huh?"

Dan is shoved against the wall. "Don't you ever try something like that again? You hear me?"

"Stop," Dan pleads quietly.

One more smack across Dan's face, then he's left alone. Dan watches as his father walks away toward the kitchen. Dan catches a glimpse of his reflection in the television screen.

His cheeks are red, and his eyes puffy. The dark circles are evident as always. His cheek bones are prominent.

Then he hears the shattering of glass. "You gave him dinner?" Dan's father shouts. "What did I tell you?"

Dan can't hear his mothers response, but he can guess along the lines of what she said. It's what she says all the time: "He hasn't eaten since yesterday. He needs to eat."

"I decide when he eats! Don't you ever disobey me again!" Dan can hear the loud slap that comes next, followed by more shattering glass.

Dan tenses up when his father comes into the room a few moments later, his face bright red.

"You get over here," he commands. Dan stays frozen in place. "Get your fat ass over here boy!"

Dan cringes but slowly walks over to his father, who grabs a fistful of Dan's hair. Dan is pulled down the hallway and into the bathroom, where he is thrown onto the floor.

"Please," Dan mumbles, holding back tears.

Dan's father grabs a toothbrush off the counter. He grabs Dan's hair again and yanks his head back. Suddenly, the end of the toothbrush (without the bristles) is shoved into Dan's mouth, making him gag.

This continues until-

*

Dan wakes up gasping, feeling sick all of a sudden. He shoots up from where he fell asleep on the couch and runs to the sink in the kitchen.

All of his dinner comes up like it does everything he has the dream, or about three times a week.

Once Dan's stomach is empty, he enters the stage of dry-heaving. Tears run down his face at the unpleasant feeling. Once he's finished, Dan turns the sink in and allows himself to catch his breath. Dan splashes cold water on his heated face.

Dan looks at his reflection in the window. Taking a deep breath, Dan whispers, "He's gone. He's gone, and you'll never see him again."

Once Dan feels calm enough, he walks down the hall quietly, trying not to wake Phil, to his room. He changes into sweats and takes off his shirt
; he climbs into bed. After about an hour, he drifts off to sleep.

*

"Dan, I'm leaving," Phil states, sitting across from Dan.

"What?" Dan asks, his voice cracking. "But- I don't- Why?"