Unreadable: A Phan AU

You would think...

You would think that forcing me to go to bed hours earlier would have been bad enough, but no. The next morning, I awoke to an annoyingly, persistent knocking on my bedroom door. I groaned in response and Phil's cheerful morning voice replied from the thankfully, locked door. If it hadn't been, who knows how he would've waken me.

"Dan, it's time to get up. Come on, I let you sleep an extra hour than I wanted to, so no complaining!"

I had no clue what time it was. Judging how groggy I was, the sun might not have even woken up. I, half-heartedly, reached over to the nightstand for my phone to check the time. After adjusting the blinding brightness of the screen, I saw how early it really was.

"10:00 IN THE MORNING? PHIL, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS INHUMANE!" I shrieked in horror.

"I said no complaining Dan! And if you think 10:00 am is bad, you better be prepared for next week. I even have a schedule for you."

Before I could tune out his ridiculous ideas and fall back asleep, he made one final attempt.

"If you get up within the next ten minutes, I'll make pancakes..." He hummed as I heard his footsteps retreat down the hall.

I sprang into action faster than a horny, teenage boy when his mother asks to borrow his computer. Speaking of bad timing and horny thoughts, I was too tired and distracted by Phil's presence to notice I had a bit of a problem myself. I tripped and fell on my face when I nearly opened the door with a full-on tent in only my boxers.

"Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit!" I chanted as I paced around my room trying to figure out a quick and quiet solution.

I've never been one of those guys who can do a quick 1-2-3 and be on my way. I rarely got this problem, so I never figured out how to make it disappear without taking my time and getting the job done. It's not that I couldn't settle myself out quiet enough and then meet Phil in the kitchen, but I sure as Hell couldn't look him in the eyes right after like some kind of sociopath! Phil...now that his name came into my head, it wouldn't make it's way out.

As if on que, Phil hollered down the hall in a mocking tone: "Daniellll, I'm waiting!"

There was nothing inappropriate about the way he said it, but with a mind full of lust, I pictured those words coming from the guest room. All the blood I was using to pace around, rushed away to somewhere a bit less helpful and my knees nearly gave out as I sat on my bed.

"Y-Yeah, be right out!" I yelled back sounding as flustered as I felt.

A minute of irrational ideas and subtle palming later, I knew there was no way out other than just taking care of it. I reminded myself to thank fate at a later date when Phil asked if I was going to get a shower before breakfast.

"A shower? I probably should, just leave some breakfast out for me if there's some left."

I opened my door and looked down both ways of the hall, making sure it was clear, and silently but quick as Hell, made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and let out the breath I was apparently holding. I turned on the water and relaxed into the warm stream.

After a minute or two of thinking how awkward that situation could have been if I ran into Phil in the hall, my earlier problem ran out of patience and screamed for attention and I gladly obliged. Since I lived alone, getting off had been something I could do whenever the situation presented itself, so much like dealing with it, I never learned how to do it quietly.

I was more turned on than I remember being in a long time due to having to restrain myself for so long. The anticipation made my blood rush faster than ever, and it all went to one place. As I got closer to the edge, I sped up my movements and held my free hand over my mouth to cover whatever sound escaped. As I was just about to reach my peak, Phil entered my head, but it was too late.