how tails' tail got snatched

astronomy > astrology

Tails was readier than he'd ever been in his life. he was gonna be thrust into space faster than Sonic thrusting his penis into the giver.

in less than an hour, he had assembled a crew and a rocketship and was ready to blast into space just like buzz lightyear. Why would he do this, you may be asking. the answer is to retrieve his tail. you see, miku stole his tail then gave it to kermit who then yeeted it into space. tails ignited the tnt that was going to make him see literal stars, and then BOOM they were in space.

Well i say they, but in reality tails had left mrs tiggywinkle and casper the friendly ghost (his crew) behind by accident. oh well. hopefully they wouldnt construct a rocket of their own and search for tails' tail in an act of revenge.

first stop: the moon. the moon was still under reconstruction bc it hadnt fully recovered from the shift in the space time continuum. tails bounced around for a bit on the moon, and there was a hole in the dead centre of it. out of the hole crawled the cheese monsters, tails' least favourite space species bc he is lactose intolerant and very upset that he cant have cheese so he takes his anger out on the poor cheese monsters. "GRRRRRR" he goes full furry mode and growls at them. Just as he's about to leave, a voice calls out to him.

"wait my dude, why u so sad? we have so much cheese here! brie, parmesan, mozzarella, lactose free, blue, moldy, yeah we got a lot of cheese" it was a cheese monster who had decided to offer tails some cheese. tails was so touched by this that he broke down crying. "ueueueuueue *sobs* noioioooo i cant im-" he stops, realising what the cheese monster had said. "U HAVE LATOSE FREE CHESES??!?!????!!!!? GIMME" 

so after he steals all their lactose free cheese and looks over the planet a lot to try and find his tail, he concludes its not there. "thx cheese bros but i gotta go find my tail" "Wait! before  u go, here is a cheese token. if u ever need assistance, hold it and whisper cheese gods 3 times n we will come help u" "omg a magic token thanks."

tails leaves his new besties and goes to neptune. he's heard of a mystical tail cult called the My Little Ponies, who worships the great tail deity. they might be able to help.

the second he lands on their planet, however, they try and burn him at the stake for having no tail. "i used to have a tail i promise! please, it's been stolen from me by a terrible frog and yeeted into space! can u help me find it?" tails pleads, hoping that they have a shred of compassion in their cold, withered souls.

the ponies pause, look at each other and do some ✨mental telepathy✨. they turn in unison, facing tails like a cult that wants to eat him. a blue and rainbow coloured pegasussy steps forward and delivers the Verdict of the Ponies.

"we, the ponies of the tails, have decided that u, tails of the ex-tail, deserve our help in retrieving ur tail from the hands of evil tail-antis. follow me." she fucking zooms to this massive shrine thing, where a 1000 metre tall tail is stapled to the top. once all the ponies r assembled inside, they start chanting "r3cwi2nx4 u34hxr1934hxrm 8ryxq[38 y134 t t1 34 tr8734trr 47 yr347 yo3478yto348g REIUG WUPCNHWUPGHCMPU9H QU HG PURHGHG 948THP934UHGDU!$!%^%$^!%*^&^(!&^%^&&^(^*&!)&)*!^%$%^!!*&^(&!&)(@ @&!^@!(*@"

rainbow dash (the pegasussy from before) ascends to the heavens, eyes glowing. then shes back and un-ascended and she tells tails that his tail is on the Planet of the Anus... uranus...