how tails' tail got snatched

norman price holds this story hostage

norman, the absolute gaslight gatekeep girlboss that he is, has decided to kick tails from the spotlight and take over the narrative. welcome to Norman Price's incredibly noble and heroic sidequest.

~prologue~

norman was walking home from school one day when he was met with a terrible sight "tra la la la laAAAAAHHHHH OH JEEZ OH MAN SOMEONE HELP MEEE" he had opened the door to his humble abode only to find his parent's dead bodies laying before him covered in blood and guts and intestines. norman was shocked and apalled - who on earth would want to kill his beloved parents?

trying to find some clues about their death, norman notices that the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen have been messed up and everything scattered around like it was an english teacher's mental state. he sees a folder peeking out from inside the cutlery drawer, and as he moves closer he realises it has a bloody handprint on it, as if his parents in their final moments tried to grab it.

norman tentatively opens the folder, avoiding touching the still-wet bloodstain. pulling out the first document, he gasps and sits down heavily, his head reeling. What he's found will change his life... forever.

he devours the documents, literally and figuratively. after Norman's read and eaten them all as a light snack, he begins the digestion process and tries to figure out the meaning of it all.

The documents detailed a series of organised crime robberies in Pontypandy (norman's small town in the grand state of kansas), and each and every one of them had notes scribbled on them, much like a teacher marking an essay. Notes like, "next time use back door", "less collateral damage", "more collateral damage", "nice work sam, you're an example to us all."

Sam? as in fireman sam, the second most respected fireman in the whole of kansas? And that handwriting looked an awful lot like...

Norman gasped again as the puzzle fell into place. His parents were the leaders of an organised crime gang, right here in Pontypandy! And fireman sam worked for them? it seemed like Norman's parents were sending their underlings to do the crime, then stealing the police reports and marking them like essays, giving the criminals notes on how to improve.

now, norman was not particularly shocked by this new development of his parents being ringleaders of organised crime. If anything it made sense, seeing as how they never did anything about his own criminal tendencies, and if anything encouraged his behaviour. one of the documents even detailed how norman was going to be the heir to his parent's business when he turned sixteen. That settled it. Norman was only twelve, but he knew that he was ready to take on the responsibility of his parent's legacy, and avenge their deaths.

First things first; contacting Fireman Sam. All accounts showed that Sam appeared to be Norman's parent's second in command, so Norman rang him up on the secrect landline that he found hidden behind the fridge and dialled his number.

"Hello? who's there?" Sam's voice carried strong and confident across the phone.

"aardvarks and chicken soup, my good sir." norman had found that phrase written down marked with "CODEWORD" in bold letters, so he assumed it was the correct response. Luckily for him it was.

Sam responded, sounding worried. "Norman? Where are your parents? And how do you know the codeword, you're only supposed to find out when you're sixteen?"

Norman drew a shaky breath in. The events of today were starting to catch up with him. "Sam, my parents are dead. I came home from school today and found them on the ground covered in blood. I'm calling to let you know that you're in charge of the mafia now, because I'm going on a quest to distract from the original plot of this story because the author was getting bored and also to avenge my parents death."