Ik it sounds emo and cringe but its true
I cant say no to my friends
Especially if its a simple favour
It caused me to almost miss the bus today
That doesnt sound like a big deal
But I didnt have my phone
Idk when/if I have to babysit
My school is 30 mins away from home
I had no way to contact my parents
The bus was quite literally moving as I was running up to it
All bc I couldnt say no to my friend
Now I hate her and myself for it
But I feel guilty for hating her
"Change how you think"
"Imagine they dont have feelings"
"Pretend they arent real"
"Just say no"
"Practice saying no"
Thats what you dont get
I
Cant
Say
No
I *CANT*
It's impossible for me to say no to a friend if they ask me a simple favour
Especially one I'm slightly scared of
"Its just lending ur phone to her for an hour so she can talk to her bf"
"Come on"
"Be nice"
"Shes grounded"
"Its the least you can do"
Yeah well doing that made me almost miss the bus with no way of contact with my parents
But I still cant imagine myself saying no to her
I'm so pissed off at her
I want to slap her so hard
But I cant
Because I'm not like that
Because I was raised to be nice and patient
People dont get that
I cant just change in two weeks
I spent my whole life being raised like this
14 years, 10 months
Being told that its the least I can do
Just help out a friend
And now I'm way too attached to her to hate her or make her hate me
I cant just stand up to her or tell her smth that bothers me
I just cant
I cant tell her "hey can you not do ___ its rlly annoying me"
Or just a simple "no"
I've known her for 10 years
I cant just make her hate me
I cant
It would be too much for me
She already hated me for a period of time and it was not fun
I hated it so much
It was the worst few months of my life
This feeling sucks
Why was I raised to be like this?
Omfg I hate this so much.
