10 years, to fall in love

Chapter four

I also brought positive changes to his life: I motivated him to lose weight through buying scale for weighing himself regularly and getting him go on a diet. He rarely does chores so I urged him to do it more regularly.

He addressed me with my name but everyone calls me that so I asked him to give me a pet name.

He thought for a while and said: baby doe, doe is the name of the deer. Baby doe sounds similar to baby doll, but he doesn't want to give me a pet name that everyone uses.

I've always called him fluffy panda because he's chubby, fluffy like a panda.

My English is mediocre, especially when it comes to reading English literature, it gets very difficult.

So I thought of reading with him, and he recommended me a sci-fi novel by Terry Pratchett, a famous English fantasy author.

When I received the book, It's so challenging to read so I felt like a retard. There are only few words in each line, but I almost don't recognize any of them. Since then, he has had one more function to me, my AI dictionary. 🤣

One night, my boyfriend got very jealous and upset because most of my attention was on Arthur, and Arthur immediately realized what went wrong and he hung up our call, so I could call my boyfriend. I asked Arthur if he was a little jealous that I was talking to my boyfriend, but he didn't reply me, and I started to get anxious, I started questioning: why didn't he call me back? Does he really care about me? I tossed and turned, and tried to pick up my phone several times to see if he had sent me a message. No, he didn't send me messages till very late: send me a message when you are free.

I blamed him for not texting me back, he said he took things too literally, and that he would be uncomfortable talking to me while I was talking to my boyfriend, and we caused each other a lot of anxiety because of miscommunication. I asked him if he's jealous of my boyfriend? He said: I'm not jealous of your boyfriend, I'm just sad that I can't have all of you. 😮‍💨What a heart-wrenching Andrew😭

Arthur is quite world-weary and secretly wishes he hadn't been born into this world, suffering from mental disorder as I do. If he could leave this world without pain, he believed he would have left long ago. He said: although I was born in a happy and well-off family, I grew up in the care and favor of my parents. I don't need to worry about food and clothing, and I have received the best education. Now I have a prestigious job where I'm well-liked at work. I'm passionate about my job: game development, and programming. I am financially independent and successful. My parents are proud of me. I basically have a life that everyone envies, but why do I shower my face in tears every night before I go to bed?

That night, after we cleared misunderstandings. He emphasized with emotions: "I can get stuck in my own head, and a general apathy toward the real world. But today I felt life was a fair bit less pointless than usual. Every word of his sentence touches my heart.

Apart from his excellent skill set at programming, he's also a wordsmith. So, I cheekily asked him to write love poetry for me.

He actually likes to write poetry, and even participated in poetry writing competitions when he was in school, but because his genre was mostly fantasy literature, the judges preferred something classical probably, he admitted that this will be his first time to write a love poetry for a girl, I am delighted and flattered.

He once wrote a little game for his online girlfriend as her birthday present and I'm super jealous, even though what's past is the past.

I wouldn't ask him to make me a game, for the following reasons: 1: I want his "first time", I'm not interested in asking him to do something for me that he has done for other romantic interests. 2: I'm not very interested in games. Instead, I am more interested in language.

Arthur's mom and dad were college classmates and they only dated once before his mom decided to marry his dad. So romantic 💕 I thought to myself. I wondered if Arthur will inherit his parents' gene in marrying me that fast just after one date with me in person. 🤦‍♂️😅 I'm too desperate for marriage🙈.

Our conversation is so cute🥰 I was outside one day, and he said: I will try not to think about you too much. Next sentence: Spoiler: it didn't work. That made my day🥰 as he finally reciprocated and displayed affection back.

One night he sent me a link about limerence, which he thinks is our current situation and the only solution is to stop contacting for at least half a year + therapy. He cried. Because he didn't want to cut off with me even if it was just an infatuation.

I called him and told him: I don't care if it's an infatuation or not, if you dare to leave my world, I will never forgive you, I will go to Malmo to find you, we are not done!

He couldn't bring himself to end our relationship because we were both so besotted.