10 years, to fall in love

Chapter six

I finally bought the ticket back home to Sweden with a stopover in Copenhagen which is like 20 mins away train from his city Malmö in Sweden.

I secretly wished he'd actually come to see me in Copenhagen airport even if it's just for less than two hours, but considering all other factors combined like time, cost, and it's not guaranteed he can be in terminal without a ticket, so we had to drop the idea.

So a few nights before my departure, he finally said to me "I love you"

Here is our conversation:
"well now it's because I really really care about you. and some people would argue I love you. I missed you so much when I got home I couldn't read, which was why I was playing game, to distract myself XD."

"Me too 😭 haha u wanna actually tell me that u love me but u feel it's too early so u use "some ppl" to cover it up for u XD"

"Yes, that's exactly correct. you know I actually read articles on advice for when it's okay to say "I love you" lol yesterday."

Hearing him telling me that he loves me made me both overjoyed and also worried, because I don't think I fit Arthur in the slightest as he is out my league in my eyes. First: I'm not pretty enough. I don't take care of myself to be a proper girl. Second: I'm too lazy to do chores, not really a good wife material . Third: I am not ambitious. I've been workless since I graduated from university, but Arthur found a top job even before graduating easily. Fourth: I'm not intellectual enough to engage in a deep and profound conversation with him so I am worried if I'd eventually bore him some day.

I happened to be invited a bestie from high school's wedding right before my departure. Seeing my friends getting married, a very unexpected question popped into my head that I proposed to Arthur: Would you marry me?

"so don't have enough info yet, but that would be the hope"

His prompt answer made me wanna cry because he agreed with marrying his previous online girlfriend when she proposed to him until she regretted and took her words back.

I was super jealous and upset to find out the fact that he clearly loved her way more than me that he'd be down to marry her just after dating her online for a month.

He had to clarify and comfort me again and again. It took a while till I calmed down. I was sad during the entire wedding because the boy who I love wouldn't wanna marry me 😭

As my departure time was approaching, we cherished our brief time with each other even more, even if it's only virtual.

On June 9th, I officially set foot back to this land that I hadn't set foot in for almost two years. I have been dreaming about Sweden for six or seven hundred days and nights, and there are all the beautiful things that I miss and look forward to.

Arrived in Copenhagen for a layover and watched our distance on the map got really close at hand. I wanted to rush out of the airport and caught the latest train to Malmo to find him, but I know I can't because there is someone who loves me more at the terminal. My boyfriend is waiting for me who's waited for me for two years and I can't make him sad anymore.