We were once 5

Hello, my name is...

Loosing a friend is the worst feeling ever. I lost my best friend a year ago. They never really found out what it was. Murder? Accident? Suicide? But I knew Emily more than anyone else. No accident could've killed her and she clearly wasn't a depressed suicidal emo kid. She was killed by a cold blooded human that I will hate for the rest of my life. And I will do every single thing I can to catch this asshole who got away with murder.

My name is Rachel Stinson, I'm 14 years old and my life hasn't been the same since my number 1 best friend died. I used to be popular, loved by everyone, homecoming princess for now 3 years in a row (Emily was always the queen) and was top of every single of my classes. But it isn't the same anymore. I'm just a normal kid now. I guess what makes a girl isn't just who she is but also who she is with. We were a group of 5, and Emily was the one holding it up. Even though Rose, Jane and Helena immediately moved on on different paths, they were always here for one another. But I was left alone. Only Rose and Emily were my actual friends. Helena has always been a bitch to everyone, not giving a shit about any of us. Jane, well Jane was, and still is, an angel but we never really hit it off, and when we lost Emily, she was a mess and stopped talking to all of us.

Fortunately, the things I had and still have is money. And to be honest, money helps a lot when you want to look gorgeous, have an amazing style and be popular. Because I may not be as famous as I used to, but I'm not a nobody and I count on running back up to the top.

Today is Thursday 13th of October, Emily's birthday. Unlike any stereotypical grieving person, I am not wearing black. Black will be for her death anniversary. Today I'm wearing bright pastel blue, her favourite colour.
"Come on Rachel! We're going to be late!" Yells my older sister, Anastasia, who drives me everyday to school since I entered Paloma High.
"I'm coming!" I shout back as I put on a gold necklace with a little music note token.
This token brings me back to an old memory, when we were all kids, sitting on the ground next to tree digging in the dirt looking for little worms.
"Who is coming to my piano show this weekend?" Had asked Emily. "I'll give you one of my necklaces if you come."
We had all accepted and she had given me the one I liked least because I had said no at first.
I laugh at the memory, even 5 years ago, Emily had a way of controlling people.

I grab my tote bag and run down the stairs to the lobby. I give a goodbye kiss to my two dogs and leave the house. My dad is a basketball player, so he is rarely around and my mom had to leave early this morning for a meeting with her modelling agency.
I sit next to Julia and turn the radio on, playing 'I know what you did last summer' by Sean Mendes.

I quickly scroll my Instagram feed. A few girls from school posted pictures of Em for her birthday. It makes me smile, even though I know those girls didn't really care about her before last year. A single tear runs down my cheek. God I miss her so much.
"Hey Rachel, look at me," says my sister with a nice soothing voice, "you're gonna be ok. Don't worry. I know you miss her. We all do."
I let out a small sob and squish my bad tighter against my chest.
"If you want, we can go and visit her grave after school. We can buy flowers and decorate it. You know she would love that." She suggest.
This is a good idea, I miss talking to her, making her happy. I nod and smile.
"Great, but stop crying before you smudge your mascara. It's an order."
I let out a small sob and laugh. My sister always finds the right words to make me feel better.