Simoun: The Aggressive Man Challenge

Challenge # 15

The dinner is good but the stares I receive from the other family members are getting worse as the minutes passed by. I didn't care. I am just enjoying the dessert and the company of that little kid who doesn't even know when to stop talking. Natapos ang hapunan na iniirapan ako ni Hermes. I was just shaking my head. Iniisip ko kung anong pinaglalaban niya. Kung si Hera, ipinaglalaban niyang siya ang panganay, ano naman ang kay Hermes? Is he fighting for being the first son? I really don't care about rankings in this family. Gusto ko lang talagang mang-asar.

Natagpuan ko ang sarili ko na naglalakad sa garden nila. Nagpunta ako sa gazebo kung saan nakita ko doon si Lukas at ang mga anak niya. I sat on the one of the chairs near the table and looked at the nothingness. Bigla kong naisip kung anong ginagawa ko dito. What is really my purpose of being here? Kinilala naman na ako ni Lukas. Sinabi niya na anak niya ako at kinukuha niya ako. He wants to change my name, but is that really what I want? Ang gusto ko lang noon ay makita niya si Mommy bago ito mamatay, but mom is not here anymore - so what am I still doing here?

"Azul." Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang marinig ko ang boses ni Ares. Lumapit siya sa akin at inabutan ako ng isang stick ng Marlboro red. I prefer Lights but this will do. Sinindihan niya ang sa kanya at inabot sa akin ang lighter. Tahimik lang kami pareho, pero binasag niya ang katahimikang iyon.

"Hermes doesn't like you." He snarled. Napatango naman ako.

"Wala akong magagawa doon. You know, just before you came, I was asking myself what I want from your family. Obviously, your dad --"

"Our dad." He corrected. Ngumisi lang ako.

"Our dad." I made a face. Hindi pa rin maganda sa pandinig ko ang salitang iyon. All my life my father had been Umberto Ledesma - madali para sa akin ang sabihin na siya ang tatay ko. "Is willing to do everything just to please me."

"Pambawi niya iyon kasi daw wala siya nang lumalaki ka." Naupo si Ares sa silya na nasa harapan ko. Tumingin siya sa akin. "Papa gave us everything - habang lumalaki kami lahat ng gusto namin ay ibinibigay niya. Hera wanted a porcelain doll from China, the next day he went to China to buy her a dozen of dolls which by the way creeps me out a lot while growing up . Then when Hermes was seventeen, he wanted a Ferrari, the next day, Papa took Hermes to Italy to buy his first ever car and shipped it here in the Philippines. Ganoon siya. Kaya alam ko na kapag may hiniling ka sa kanya, gagawin niya."

"Ikaw, Ares, anong gusto mo noon?" Marahil ay nagulat siya sa klase ng pagtatanong ko. Naisip ko lang naman iyon dahil hindi niya isinama ang sarili niya. He smiled at me.

"I just want Mama, back then. Kapag sinabi ko kay Papa na gusto kong sumama sa ospital kay Apollo, pinapayagan niya ako. I was just a simple kid while growing up, Azul. All I want is Mama - my world revolves around her..."

"She does talk about you a lot." Ngumiti si Ares sa akin.

"I still miss her. Bathseeba said that it's okay to still miss Mama."

Tumayo ako at tinapik ang likod niya. "I still miss my mom too. Sometimes I wish she's still here to witness the milestones in my life." Ares just nodded. Nagpaalam na ako sa kanyang aalis. Sinamahan niya ako sa loob. Natagpuan ko si Lukas na nakikipagkwentuhan kay Artie. Nagpaalam na rin ako sa kanya. Hera was there sitting with his husband giving me that disgusted look. Hindi ko na siya pinansin.

"Aalis na ako, Lukas." Wika ko sa kanya. He stood up.

"Thank you, Simoun." Tumango na lang ako at umalis na. I went straight to my car. Umuwi na ako pero habang papalapit ako sa bahay ko ay naramdaman kong ayoko pa palang umuwi. So I just drove around the Metro until I found myself in front of Leira's house. Napangisi lang ako. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong meron sa babaeng ito at binabalik-balikan ko siya. I like her presence and I love her guts. She practically told me that if I want her in my life, it's either she becomes my girlfriend or nothing at all.