Mo grá

This Is Me Trying

When the train that I needed to get on approached my stop, I boarded the train and took a seat in a far corner.

Emily was sitting by the doors in a seat that faced the aisle, not looking up from her lap when I walked past her. The call for a meeting was made by Emily who was already on the train and it confused me a bit.

Just yesterday, we found out that Doyle was on his way to D.C. What news could Emily possibly have?

We sat on the train for what felt like an eternity before the rest of the group joined us.

Emily was starting to dose off and I could see it from where she was sitting, but I let Clyde approach the her first. They exchanged a few words before Tsia sat in a seat across the aisle from them and then I joined them, sitting across from Emily.

"Ian Doyle is here in D.C," Emily announced to the group once I was sat down.

"How can you be so sure?" Clyde asked her.

"I sat next to him last night," she responded.

"What?"

"Are you crazy?" I asked in disbelief.

"He said if I warned the team or told anyone, he'd kill them," Emily continued, despite the fear-stricken expression that was now plastered on my face.

"Why didn't he kill you?" Tsia asked.

"And more to the point, why didn't you kill him?" Clyde followed up immediately.

"He's not working alone, is he?" I posed the idea and Emily nodded.

"Then he's just playing with you," Tsia stated, which was immediately dismissed by the man across the aisle.

"No, no, he's a power-assertive psychopath. He doesn't play games," Clyde stated.

"He's meticulous. He plans everything down to the last detail," Emily added.

"Yeah, that last detail being you." Clyde said to Emily but she shook her head.

"Not necessarily." She said looking between the three of us.

"He doesn't want me, he wants." She starts but I cut her off.

"He wants me doesn't he?" I ask and she nods. I felt sick to my stomach.

"He said no one else has to get hurt if Leah gives her self up to him." She said.

"Oh my god." Tsia said and I nodded leaning back into the seat.

I held my breath for a moment. I always knew I played as big of a part in taking Doyle down then anyone else. Well I was the key component, but this still felt like too much.

There had to be something they could do to take Doyle down again without anyone else getting hurt. There had to be. And it was me.

"Maybe we should tell the team," Emily offered the suggestion, watching as Tsia nodded in agreement.

"No way. This isn't their fight and you know it," Clyde retorted.

"But they care about us," Emily argued with her. "They care about you." She said motioning to me.

"You've been there longer, I'll just give myself up to him it's the best solution."

"No you won't no way in hell." Tsia said and I just sank farther back into my seat.

"I won't take that risk," Clyde said, still shaking his head.

"We could get ahead of this if we pool our thoughts with theirs. We need fresh eyes if we want an actual chance at predicting Doyle's next moves," Emily continued to reason with me, but she could tell that I had already decided that telling the team wasn't an option.