Admiring the Flaws

[ 1 ]

The only mistake that we didn't make was run......
NOW LOOK WHAT WE HAVE DONE
~ Astronomy by Conan Gray
______________________________________________

"What do you think we should have done at that time Ertugrul?"

"What time?"

Ertugrul lifted his head to look at Halime. 'What were we talking about?' he wanted to ask since his brain was somewhere towards the little figure sitting beside him..... creating a definete mess. He saw Halime rolling her eyes and biting her lower lip.

"How beautiful so you weren't even listening."

"I was listening, I just got distracted because of......" His eyes moved towards his right and Halime followed his sight and then it stopped at Ceylan, the soup more on her shirt than in her stomach. Halime had a gasp over the mess she didn't knew her little daughter had created without her even noticing. How would she even notice, she was busy talking to the wall.

Ertugrul picked up the napkin from the table and even with Ceylan's protest, he wiped her face, though he found it funny and liked it the way it was but his wife liked clean stuff.

Maybe that's why she was trying to clean the mess of their past too...... constantly.

Ertugrul took Ceylan's little hand and wrapped them in a napkin to clean them up but this time Ceylan jerked the napkin away and moved towards her bowl of soup which was nearly empty so Ertugrul let it be. He knew Halime's eyes were on them, she wasn't moving, she wasn't saying anything, she wasn't picking up Ceylan, she was just sitting.

When Ertugrul was done, he looked at her. There was no light in her eyes, he noticed. Even her anger doesn't feel the same anymore to him. Not because they have lost that connection, it was maybe because....... yeah they have lost the connection, but he didn't even saw them shining for someone else, maybe if her eyes does shine for someone else.... he will be the most jealous person to exist.

"Why did you even gave her the spoon? You should've just told me to feed her myself, you volunteered Ertugrul." Halime complained and looked away, she was tired, her voice told that.

"She wanted the spoon, why are you angry on such a little thing, she wanted to practice eating herself." Ertugrul placed his hand on top of Halime's clenched fist which made Halime look at him and her face softened a bit.

"I'm not angry." She lied.

"Doesn't look like that." He caught the lie. "Don't worry, I'll clean up. She's just sixteen months old, calm down." His hand that was on top of her clenched fist was now traveling towards the clean napkins resting on the table but Halime took those napkins before him. It surprised him and he looked at her but she didn't, it angered him now.

"You don't have to clean, I will do it myself." She stood up from her place, not looking at her husband but at the napkins in her hands. "I was used to think that when you are in tribe, maybe things will be easier for me but no, everything have taken an oath to make me angry. Look at me! Was I ever like this?"

No you weren't Halime, we weren't.

Ertugrul too stood up. Ceylan made a disappointed sound which sounded like 'EHHHH' as her father left her side, Ertugrul looked down at her and gave her a smile, then looked at Halime who was looking at Ceylan. "Do you want me to go back to Sogut?"

He was taking steps towards her now, even Ceylan was looking at them which Halime noticed but what can an eighteen months old understand about the situation. Ertugrul stood straight when he was at a little distance from her.

"Doesn't make any difference, because no matter you are here or not.... it's same, you don't listen to me, you don't talk to me, you come, you work, you sleep." Halime complained and she knew he had an answer for everything she just mentioned but he won't say those things knowing he have been repeating them since months of them just arguing and fighting.