Admiring the Flaws

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"I'm sorry Halime'm." He breathed into her neck, hugging her, his one arm around her waist and other around her back.

His breaths on her neck giving her goosebumps and raising her heartbeat at the same time. She don't understand how they have literally been married for more than twenty years and everytime he hugs her, everytime he put his arm around her waist and everytime he bury his nose into her neck, her heart always end up jumping out of her chest. Every. Freaking. Time. It's insane what impact a touch from her husband had on her and she was too shy to confess it to anyone, even him.

"I'm also sorry Ertugrul. I should have not tried to fix anything." He knew it. She was angry, she didn't accepted the apology, he had to work harder to earn it all.

"Halime...." Ertugrul broke the hug, staring at her now, she met his eyes and didn't dogded him now. Her eyes weren't dull at the moment, they had a nice shine to them, the usual shine Halime had in her eyes. "You are still mad, aren't you?" He said and now that none of his body part was touching hers, atmosphere was getting colder and she didn't liked it so instead of crossing her arms on her chest which she was normally used to do she grabbed his hands in hers.

"Ertugrul I only wanted to talk. I didn't mean to create trouble for you or to mess with your mind."

"But why after so many years? I just don't understand that why you want to talk about what is gone and why does it bother you now? We could have had these conversations years ago-" His words came to a sudden stop, were they ever in any situation to discuss and talk about things that bother her now, was he someone who would've just sit down and talked it all out, he asked himself.

But she never brought it up herself too? Did she ever just slightly give a hint about willing to discuss something or talk?

"Even though years ago, I know I wasn't the best husband," he saw her looking away at that, rolling her eyes because she at the end never wanted him to think that he was a bad husband ever, "or someone actively taking part in our relationship but," he threw his hands up, frustrated now. "I don't know we could have done something Halime. Something?" He repeated, holding her hands now the way she did moments ago.

He was looking at her like he was expecting some assurance, a nod, a yes, he knew that they should have talked about it in the past, but he wasn't ready to talk about all it now.

"I...." She opened her mouth and felt it dry, she didn't knew how to respond to him when he possibly look so hurt, so unfamiliar, so puzzled. "I don't know, am I ruining everything for us like this?"

"No..... never, don't think like that."

"Yes, right..... because we are already broken."

"Halime...... not again!" He warned, looking away and taking small steps back and forth, he couldn't even stand straight and think or continue the conversation.

"Okay."

"Ahhh Halime!! Ah!! I don't know what to do! I don't know how to fix this, I don't know what is going in your mind, I.... You are right.... we haven't always been like this but.... maybe it is the distance between us now."

"The distance, oh yes, you don't realize how much we miss you." Halime said and he knew that, he didn't knew about anyone else but he knew about Halime that she miss him. His sons maybe don't confess to not worry him but they also do and the thing that proves it is that when he comes to tribe, they don't want to waste any second when he's available, they want to spend every moment with him.

"I do realize that Halime, I miss you too... everyone actually, my tribe but there are problems."

"We know that! That's why we don't want to worry you because you are there for us, for the tribe.... it's not like you want it, or you want to stay away from us."