Admiring the Flaws

[ 3 ]

"Come back baba. We miss you."

The hesitation in tone, both of them lowering their eyes so that they don't have to meet their father's eyes, the fidgeting of their fingers and the way none of them wanted to say it out aloud had Ertugrul in tension.

One thing he never wanted was his family to be shy to say anything to him, anything related to his behavior, anything related to what they feel or what they want, anything related to what they observed or change they saw let that be in anyone and he have always counted on Gunduz to tell him everything Halime feel.

Gunduz was the silent observer of their family, he was the one who could read anyone and everyone's eyes. He have always exposed Ertugrul's fear and feelings to Halime and due to the fact he's the one who have spent the most time with both Ertugrul and Halime, he have seen those thick and thin moments of their relationship which his siblings haven't.

"I'm here Gunduz. I'm close to you Savçi." He reassured them and honestly felt like a loser, a traitor. He felt like he is robbing them, he knew he had to leave for Sogut the day after. The reassurance. His reassurance would make no sense once they see him leaving the tribe.

What could he even do?

"Baba, we know you struggled and are still doing it. You left your family years back and migrated to these lands for our future, for the establishment of the state you have always dreamed of. You are busy, you need our support, we understand. We will take care of Anne, of Ceylan, of tribe."

The disappointment in their eyes stabbed Ertugrul. He shook his head and gazed at his sons. "Savçi!" He called out, stood up and sat beside Gunduz, taking a moment Savçi did the same by sitting beside Ertugrul. "I'm your father. As much as I love your support and reassuring words.... I understand you too. Don't think that I can't read your eyes-"

"May I come in Bey'm?" Halime's voice interrupted in the conversation, bringing a small smile on Ertugrul's face. He looked at Gunduz and he nodded back at him.

"Come in Halime Sultan." He said, gripping Gunduz's hand in his, offering both of his sons a polite smile. He was never letting go of those hands, never!

"BABA!!!" Ceylan's small steps hurried towards where her father was sitting followed by Halime at the back. Ceylan's little figure ran and sat in Ertugrul lap, taking the whole tent's attention, Ertugrul laughed.

"Here's the attention seeker." Gunduz stated, taking his hand out of Ertugrul's grip so that he can hold Ceylan. Ertugrul saw it, he felt it, he noticed it. The way he took his hand back, the sad smile on his face.

"Anne, Gunduz brother is calling you attention seeker." Savçi teased, smirking and looking at Gunduz while Ertugrul gave a hearty laugh. He raised his eyes to look at Halime who was looking at Gunduz from the corner of her eyes. Maybe she noticed everything too, how he took his hand back, how Ertugrul's promise shattered in one moment, the moment Ceylan came.

Gunduz wasn't jealous of his little sister, he loved her more than his own self but sometimes he felt like needing the same attention he was used to get back when his siblings weren't born. How he was guided for every step he take. Now he is eighteen, he know how to distinguish between right and wrong but he still need guidance and attention and for that.... maybe he was even ready to make some mistakes.

"I didn't wanted to interrupt but-" Her face was towards Gunduz, maybe she knew he was going to talk to his father, tell him what they feel.

"But Ceylan?" Gunduz asked, he sounded pissed, Gunduz never sound pissed.

"Yes.... Ceylan." Halime completed lowering her eyes to her hands. She tried to not ruin Ertugrul and their son's moment, she tried to hold Ceylan knowing Gunduz and Savçi need that moment with their father and Ceylan have got more than enough attention for the day but Ceylan is quirky, she's always running around and super active, you never know when she is infront of your eyes and when she is gone.