The Summer She Turned Pretty

Disappointments and Debutantes

I woke up pretty early, I don't know what time. I checked my phone, there was a text from Conrad, it said: Hey you wanna meet me at the beach? I think we should talk.

I didn't even reply I just sprinted out the door and onto the beach trail. I wonder what he wants to talk about. Last night? Belly? Us? There were endless possibilities. Once I got to the opening I saw him sitting alone right by the waves. I started walking up to him and he didn't even look at me when I stood next to him. 

"What's your biggest insecurity?" he asked me. My eyes widen at his question, not even a hello. I think for a second, while I sit down next to him. 

"Um, I don't know, probably my thighs, they're fat as fuck." I try to laugh it off, and I don't look at him. Instead, I run my fingers through the sand. "You?"

"The fact I can't stop smoking." And there he was, with a cigarette hidden in his ear. I'll never understand his addiction, and I hope I never will have to. It was most likely because he wasn't an athlete anymore, didn't matter if it affected his brain anymore. 

"Oh." I finally look at him. Okay, I have to move this conversation along. "Well, last night was..." My voice trails off, hoping for him to finish for me. 

"A shit show." I laughed at his comment. A light wind rushes over us and I shiver before answering. 

"Yeah, yep it really was." I cross my arms over my body, focusing on the waves. This felt like every other summer with Conrad. 

"You know your gonna have a black eye tomorrow, right?" I reach up to touch one of my forming bruises, almost an instinct. 

"Actually I'll have two." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood."Hey, you... you remember everything that happened last night, right? Don't you remember everything when you drink?" I vaguely remember him telling me this before. 

"Yep," he replied, "I always remember." We sat in silence until he pulled his cigarette out of the top of his ear.

He was lighting it when I said, "Let me have a puff." I don't even know why I tried to be honest, there was no way in hell he'd say yes. 

"No." I roll my eyes, but I don't admit defeat. 

"Mm-hmm. Yeah." I slowly lean into him, my voice was almost a whisper for a second. 

"No. No." A smirk starts to play on his face. 

I nod, "Yes." 

"No!" He smiled. "Laurel would actually kill me." 

"Who am I? Belly?" I laughed. He smiled slightly, but it soon disappeared. There I go, ruining the moment once more. 

"Same old Maybell. Hey, let's go pick up some of the good muffins before everybody else gets up." He takes another puff and I feel a bit better about my previous words. 

"Oh ok, you wait out here, I'll go get the keys and stuff so we don't have to go through the house and make a racket." Conrad is pretty noisy, and I don't want anyone to join us. I guess that was selfish but I wanted time with Conrad, just us. 

"Alright." As I was walking back down the trail I felt like everything was normal again. Conrad and I still had our thing. It wasn't all about Belly at that moment. I got to the house and got the keys and a jacket from my room and headed back to the beach to get Conrad.

 As I got back to the clearing I gasped, so lightly that the wind almost overtook it. Belly had taken my place next to Conrad, and they were laughing and smiling together. She must have slipped downstairs while I was in my room. He was holding her fucking hand. I actually believed that it was just me and him, not Belly. I'm such a dumbass. I ran back, tears flying down my face, but I didn't care, I just needed a hug, but it felt as if I was the only person left in the world.