The Waves Don't Forget

Family: Old and New

Yet again, silence overtook the lecture room. Everyone sat and absorbed everything she told them about her first battle, how many men had fallen to her Halberd, and how many had pure, primal fear etched onto their corpses as they breathed their last.

The distant look in her eyes cemented the thought everyone was already believing since earlier, and they thought it wasn't even possible. Großer Kurfürst, the bastion of Human strength, the primordial Shipgirl, the woman many could hail as a living God...was absolutely terrified.

She was suffering as she retold these stories, even the most distant of them could tell as much. "Miss Kurfürst...has the War truly done you in so horribly?"

"...It is less so the war itself, and more what it told me." She was looking at her hands again, staring at the reflective sheen on her armor.

She blinked, and they were covered in blood and gore, before she blinked again in a frenzy to clear it. "The war is a large part of my Shellshock, but it isn't the part I fear."

"Then...what is it you fear?"

She couldn't blame them for being curious, but she felt so exposed right now, telling of her constant memories of those horrid days. But that was no lie, the war and the constant danger isn't what set her off...

"Girls, what I fear the most isn't an enemy I cannot conquer, not is it even my death that I fear. I...I fear myself more than anything."

...

"Y...yourself?"

"Yes...you know of it now, how I was once a human being, and by that, I was raised with different principles and different ideals than all of you."

She swept her hand across the room. "You were all born ships, made ships, to be ships. I have done my best to humanize you, and I am glad my efforts have born fruit with the great character you all show today."

Her positive compliment then turned to a more sorrowful form. "However, that also means that you are all built to kill, seeing it as the main option for you to do battle. I, who was born human, raised human, and believed for so long to be human...killing wasn't in my full mind until those very days."

...

Drip

Many couldn't believe their eyes, seeing the water drop to the floor underneath her. Kurfürst was softly crying, her eyes shaking, but her posture unmoving.

"Those days...I learned just how powerful I was, and how flimsy my compatriots were. All of you know that you can easily kill a human, you be were born with that knowledge...but can you imagine the thought that one day, you became so grossly powerful, that the slightest wrong move could result in a casualty of your own people?"

She wiped away the tears. "Those were the thoughts plaguing me for many years, not even during the peaceful times did it stop. I wasn't afraid of my enemy, nor was I afraid of death, I was afraid of what I could do if I just...let go."

Click!

Her eyes snapped to the sound, seeing Friedrich turning off the recording device. "I do believe you need a break for now dear sister, you're shaking like a leaf."

"N-No, this story needs to be told-"

"And it can be told when you're of right mind again. For now, we should return to your home and rest."

Kurfürst looked down to her shaking hands, taking a deep breath and slowing it somewhat. Friedrich was right, she wasn't fairing well in the moment, and a good amount of rest will settle her.