What she left Behind | ONGOING

CHAPTER 09

───── Derek ─────

I woke up with a tremendous headache. I felt like it was killing me. Thank God Chloe gave me that aspirin to deal with it because it was becoming unbearable. She seemed unconvinced by my explanations about why I drank too much, and even though I knew she wanted to keep asking me about it, she let it go. Well, at least for now. Knowing her, her interrogation will come up again sometime soon.

Right now, I want to enjoy the peacefulness of this place. Thanks to the aspirin, the sun isn't bothering me so much anymore, so I can appreciate this beautiful day. The sky is bluer than ever, not a single cloud in the sky. It is the perfect time to go for a swim.

I take off my shirt and jump into the lake, the cold water hitting my hungover self like a truck. But that's good it will begin to wake up my body even faster and make me feel better. I find something special about this lake, it truly helps me reconnect with memories that I've had in the back of my mind since I had that phone call that changed me, in some way.

I swim around, savoring the sweet sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds. I close my eyes, and I feel how all the memories come flooding back.

"I can't stand him," I say as take off my coat and throw it furiously at my couch.

"I know he didn't mean it," Savannah's sweet voice was calming, but it wasn't enough to make me forget how my father puts too much pressure on me.

"He has never cared for anything other than his precious job, I'm sick of it. He will never treat me as his son, I'm just an employee."

Savannah walks toward me and grabs my face with her hands. She pulls me toward her into a loving embrace. As I deepen my face into her soft hair, her sweet scent makes me relax a bit more, making me wrap my arms around her to hug her even tighter.

I truly needed this.

She pulls away and stares at me with her beautiful, sparkling eyes. "I know a hug won't fix anything, but—"

"No, no, this is exactly what I needed. I'm sorry if I bombard you with all this negativity. It's just—" I trail off, feeling a bit embarrassed for feeling this way. I hate having 'issues' like these. It is so stupid.

"It's just what?" she asks, motioning for me to finish what I meant.

I look down, "I feel like I will never be good enough for him."

God, how lame can I be?

"You will always be more than enough to me," she says and places a soft kiss on my lips.

That's all I ever needed, honestly. Ever since I met her, she has been there for me and has loved me unconditionally. It isn't as if I forgot about her, and I know that blocking out what happened won't change anything. But every time her face comes to mind, it tears me apart.

I admit that when I first met her, all I wanted was just to have a one-night stand and then ghost her—something that right now makes me sick to my stomach. Though at that time, all I wanted was to get with her and add Savannah to the list of girls I've been with. But when I got to meet her and realized she wasn't like the others, my mindset switched completely, and all I wanted to do was be good enough for her.

I never thought I would get married or even consider having kids, but I did with her.

Now, as memories filled my head, I swam around, concentrating on every single word we ever said to each other. Those deep and meaningful conversations we shared. The laughter, the tears, the ups and downs, everything I once shared with Savannah.

"Hey," a voice brings me back to reality. I turn around and see Chloe standing there.

"Hey. Oh, I wanted to thank you for the aspirin," I say, causing her to have a shy smile.

"You're feeling better?" she asks, and I nod in response.

"Definitely, at least I am not asking you to turn off the sun."

She giggles and then we stay a few moments in silence. She seems thoughtful about something, and what could be going through her head while standing here intrigues me.

She surprises me by taking off her sundress and revealing her swimsuit. She's still questioning whether she should jump in, and I truly hope she does because the water feels amazing, and it would perhaps relax her a little bit.

She finally jumps in, splashing water everywhere. I couldn't help but cheer on her decision. She resurfaced from the water with the biggest smile I've ever seen, and it made me even happier to see her less uptight. This is a good thing because I remember that last time we were all here, Chloe would jump into the water all the time along with Savannah, and not seeing her doing that voluntarily until now, confused me a lot.

"The water feels great!" she says, sleeking her wet hair back.

"I told you," I can't help the victorious smirk forming on my lips as I knew she was going to feel much better if she got into the water. I know that swimming here has brought me a lot of peace and it's nice that she's enjoying it as well "What made you finally jump in?" I ask, curiously.

She shrugs, "I'm not sure. I guess I wanted to let loose for a moment. Besides, this lake holds so many good memories. It was time for me to remember those moments as positive times that we shared in the past."

I nod in agreement. This lake does hold that and it was already time that Chloe saw that instead of standing outside of the water without enjoying it.

I jokingly splashed some water at her and for a moment I thought I had done something wrong. But after a pause, she splashes some water at me too, causing a war between us. For the first time, we're having fun, together. Who would've thought? We're swimming around, splashing at each other, laughing our asses off. For a moment, I was able to disconnect myself from everything and thankfully began enjoying my time here to the fullest, with the one person I never thought I would be having fun with.

Does it hurt? Of course. But one of the things that Savannah would've wanted would be for us to remember beautiful things and not dwell too much in the past. Though, I know that it will take a long time for us to close that hole that was left in our hearts.

I know that what she left behind were a bunch of broken hearts and the sweet laughter that used to fill the air. She left behind plans we thought she'd see through and a future that felt so uncertain but were excited to see happen. What I guess lingers the most is the sense of unfinished potential—the amazing life she was beautifully shaping, was cut too short. Savannah left a piece of herself in everyone who got to know her, and now all we can do is hold on tight to those memories, wondering what could've been.

Sometimes, I wonder: Why did she choose me? She could've turned me down when I went up to her and tried to hit on her like I would normally do with any other girl. But she didn't fall for that type of charming façade I put on for everybody. She saw something else in me that I think I will never be able to have an explanation for.

I guess she saw the real me.