13 Reasons Why (Billdip)

Chapter 6

(Bill pov)

I park my bike in the garage and walk into my house, stopping when I see both of my parents waiting in the living room for me.

"Did someone else die or something?" I try to lightly joke.

"Where have you been?" My mom demands.

"School."

"Your princicpal called us this morning. You didn't show up to any of your classes and you haven't been answering your phone."

"I was at school, I just didn't go to any classes. I wasn't feeling well. My phone died this morning."

"You can't just pull stunts like this, Bill. And what happened to your head?"

"It's nothing, I just fell when I was biking to school."

"We're worried about you. Will said-"

"I don't give a damn what Will told you." I snap at her. I head back into the garage, putting the earbuds in and pressing play on the walkman before I bike out with no destination in mind.

"You all know that stupid thing the school does around valentine's day. You pay 5 bucks, fill out a form and they give you a list of people and phone numbers that you matched with. It is really really dumb. But last winter, I just.....I guess with everything going on I just felt really lonely. So I did it and as I was filling out my form, I realized that I was describing one person specifically. But he somehow didn't show up on my list."

I filled out one of those forms that year too, but I was too scared to turn it in. Felt like an idiot for even doing it in the hopes that his name would appear on it.

"Surprisingly Pacifica ended up on mine and I was on her. She called and I explained to her that I wasn't into females anymore. She seemed chill with it and said we could just go to a local diner on valentine's day as friends. Have fun making people look stupid when they assumed we were dating. I agreed because I needed some fun even if it was stupid. Go to Lazy Susan's diner. Sit at a booth and wait for 10 minutes before ordering anything. Wait another 15 then another 30. That is how long I waited before you showed up, Pacifica."

I steer my bike in that direction as I listen to the rest of the tape.

..........................................

(Dipper pov)

I anxiously tap my foot on the ground, checking my phone but there aren't any new messages. The last one was sent half an hour ago from me asking if she was on her way. It was left unread.

This sucks. Even if it wasn't a date, it sucks to be stood up on today of all day.

My phone rings and I see it's just Bill. I sigh before answering it. "Hey."

"Hey, everything alright man?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it?"

"Because it's valentine's day and you didn't come over to watch bad romcoms about this stupid holiday like we do every year."

"Shit. I am sorry, I forgot."

"What's going on?"

"I'm out with someone else right now but when I'm done I can come over."

"Out like a date?"

"No, it's not like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, it's not a date."

"Okay. Just let me know when you're on your way. There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Sure thing."

"See ya, Pinetree."

I hang up the phone setting it down on the table as the door opens. I see it's Pacifica but it's also a bunch of her friends. She sits across from me as her other friends sit at a different booth.

"Sorry I'm late, lost track of time."

"I didn't realize you were bringing an entire entourage."

"Honestly I didn't mean to either. Is that any good?" She points to the second milkshake I had been drinking.

"It was good about an hour ago when you were supposed to be here."

"Are you really that pissed with me?"

"No, sorry. I just forgot about something I was going to do today."

"What, an actual date?"

"No. Bill and I usually watch these dumb romantic comedies about today and make fun of them. We've done it every year as long as I can remember and I totally forgot this year."

"Are you and Bill a thing?"

"What? No, of course not. He and I are just friends. He's my best friend."

"Cool." She gets up and slides in the seat next to me, her hand rubbing my thigh. "You know, we could be friends of sorts. Take it back to my place and I could show you just how friendly I can be."

I try to move away from her but I'm pressed up against the wall already. "Pacifica, I told you already. I don't swing that way."

"Well that isn't what I heard. Especially with the things you and Wendy did."

I feel her tugging at the button on my jeans and it's like I remember that I can move. I shove her off, her falling onto the ground. "Get the fuck off!"

She stands up angrily. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She scoffs as she straightens out her skirt. "Thought you were supposed to be easy. Guess those rumors don't know shit after all."

She and her friends walk out, just leaving me in stunned silence. I rest my head on the table feeling hot tears of shame running down my cheeks.

.................................

"I wish I had left after that. But I didn't. I stayed and number 7 came back."

The tape ends. I take the earbuds out stuffing them in my pocket before taking a sip of the milkshake I had ordered while listening to it. I look up as Will comes over to my table.

"For the last fucking time, stop following me."

"This isn't about the tapes." He sets a tape on the table.

"What is it?"

"The songs played during homecoming last year. The one you and Dipper danced to should be number 8."

"Oh.....thanks man."

"You need to tell Mom and Dad something."

"Like what? That I have to listen to these fucking tapes to find out why my best friend killed himself?"

"I don't know what you should tell them, just anything other than you yelling and storming out like that."

".....that night, him coming here with Pacifica, was the last time I talked to him before that stupid party."

"Why?"

"He didn't come over like he said he would. I was just really pissed at that and how he kept shutting me out. I knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me anything. So the next day I yelled at him. He tried to give an excuse but was stuttering and stumbling over his words. I just told him next time he was going to let a guy do him, then don't lie to me about it."

"Jeez Bill...."

"I never believed the rumors but I was so pissed. Then when I would see him at school, I thought about apologizing but he always seemed to be gone as fast as I saw him. I saw he was breaking and I just let him."

"You said one mean thing. Everyone else said thousands and did far worse."

"Is me saying that, the reason I'm on these tapes?"

"No. Your reason....it's very very complicated. That's all I can see. I'll see you at home."

He walks out of the diner and I watch his car pull away. I pick up the tape, putting it in the walkman. I put the earbuds in and press play, letting the familiar music take over.