Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Jungkook was not stupid despite what his grades will tell you. He never really believed that academic grades should measure one's intelligence.
In all honesty, he really didn't want to go to college. He had no real direction in life and the option that he did want to pursue had made his mother's pretty face smile in the same condescending fashion one would smile at a child who said something cute and told him, "oh, Kookie, no one's going to take you seriously or respect you if you don't provide for your household."
He had to prove something. No one really did take him seriously. Hell, even Jungkook didn't take himself seriously. He wasn't stupid or unaware. He knew his grades certainly get him into the most prestigious university in Korea. His mother did and no one really respected him because of it. He was the rich boy who never had to work a single second of his life. People liked him but they didn't respect him. Those were two entirely separate things.
And Jungkook knew for certain that Iris definitely didn't want a man with no aspirations other than staying home and taking care of his family. She didn't want someone who could hardly maintain a C in most of his classes and was riding on the coattails of his mother's success because he had absolutely zero life skills. He knew it was wishful thinking to hope that maybe one day he'd appeal to her. He knew that she'd probably end up with Kim Namjoon, a man on a straight path to success. He was everything Jungkook wasn't. A genius in his own right. Good enough of Iris.
Jungkook realized he was reaching out of his league with Iris but he couldn't help but try. All he can do is hope.
Jungkook sat staring at his stove, practicing some recipes he was trying out. It was dangerous for him to zone out while cooking for this exact reason. The moment he came back into consciousness he looked down at the onions he was sauteing and found them burnt, far past the caramelized he was attempting to go for.
Could he really do nothing right?
Jungkook was quick to take them off the stove and throw them away before tossing the pan into his sink with a frustrated groan. He placed his hands over his face and fell silent altogether. Sometimes he just has to take these moments of silence when he fucked up to consider if he'd ever really amount to anything. Taehyung was meant to be coming over soon so he might as well just order takeout and abandon trying to cook something up tonight.
He sighed and fought off the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks. Pathetic. Why was he crying over something so simple? He just burned some onions and now he was ready to have a meltdown in the middle of his kitchen. Jungkook's been like this for as long as he can remember, ready to cry over the smallest inconveniences. He never does, not unless it's really bad. Jungkook always tells himself to suck it up and that it's not a big deal. What does he have to cry for?
It always comes in the manifestation of his mother's voice. What do you have to cry for? Don't cry over something so stupid and trivial, Jungkook. And usually, that's enough for him to get himself back together and compose himself. He drew in a deep breath, let his hands drop to his sides before grabbing his notebook full of recipes he's made and been meaning to try out, all of them handwritten so that maybe he could give them to his children one day.
If this couldn't get any worse, Jungkook's phone began to ring on the counter where he had left it while cleaning up. He sets different ringtones for all of his contacts because the energy he spent to pick up his phone and check who it was made him sick. He'd rather just know who it is automatically so he can decide if he wants to answer it or not.
This call was one he couldn't ignore. His mother wasn't one to be ignored. A woman as busy as she didn't have time to waste calling people. She had people to do that for her. Jungkook was quick to answer the phone for her, eager to hear from his mother again. He knows he shouldn't because it always starts the same.
"Hi, Eomm-"
"Koo, are you free this Saturday? I need your help with something." She always needs his help with something. Jungkook can't remember the last time she called just to ask how he was doing or catch up in any sense of the word. She never invited him over for lunch or dinner or took the time out of her day to text him "I love you". It's okay. Jungkook's always been just fine with her disregard and disinterest. It allows or him to do what he wants, to answer to no one. She doesn't question a single thing he does.
It doesn't hurt. He doesn't care. That's what he tells himself.
The knock on the door momentarily distracts Jungkook. "Uh- I...I'm not sure, Eomma." He shuffles his way to his front door to open it for Taehyung. "It's very important. I'm hosting an event at the house." There's a calm regalness to her voice that stresses the importance of every last word that leaves her lips. It tells him 'my problems are more important than any r
reservations you may have' and she's entirely correct.
Taehyung came in loud, broad words. "Ugh- dude it smells like burnt onion in here-" Jungkook quickly pressed his fingers to his lips to tell him to quiet down. "It's no one, Eomma...but you couldn't have told me about this sooner? What if I had plans then?"
"But you don't."
Jungkook's lips purse softly. He runs his tattooed fingers through his fluffy tangles of hair. "No– I don't." He deadpans, glancing over at Taehyung who looked on impatiently. He waved the older man off.
"Then you can come. I'll text you when I need you to come." And just like that, she was gone. The line went dead and he was no longer needed. It does kind of suck sometimes. Not a hello or goodbye to mark her arrival or departure. Jungkook knows she loves him in her own way, trusts that she does–hopes that she does.
"Why do you let her do that?" Taehyung has never understood why Jungkook just lets his mother steamroll over him, only pop up when she needs him to do something for her or wants him to come to her special events to play the role of the perfect son going somewhere great in life. "Just tell you that you can't."
"I never get to see her, hyung." Jungkook snapped a bit. The tender wound that was the topic of his mother was to never be touched. He hated when people questioned his relationship with her, the stability and solidity of it because it forced him to question the validity of it. "I didn't have a mom that will visit me on weekends and make me food. So when she needs me...I'll be there."
Taehyung's chest expanded with his sigh. "That way you're always waiting on Iris' every beck and call? Always there when mommy needs you." He taunts Jungkook with his kink (which Jungkook will never admit is a kink. Everyone except Jungkook can see it, the way he so desperately pines after a woman who doesn't want him, who could really care less about him. Those mommy issues were strong. Iris was his mother in every facet except physical. There's disinterest from both of them that Jungkook refused to confront or admit. Frankly, it seems that neither of them wants anything to do with him but he's right there when they need him to make their lives easier. The only difference was that Iris never asked—or demanded—his help. He just gave it to her because that's the only way he's ever learned to please. Acts of service.
Poor boy.
"Don't be an asshole, Tae." Jungkook scoffed at him, hiding the bitterness he felt with Taehyung's words. He knows he doesn't mean to hurt Jungkook's feelings. It's all fun and games but fun and games still hurt.
Throwing rocks was fun until someone starts to bleed.
*.✧ Kᴀʏs Eɴᴅɪɴɢ Nᴏᴛᴇs
Having a bit of a writing block for new content so ig I'm just gonna keep going with this rewrite until I have new ideas.
Thank you all for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed and I wish you all a wonderful day/night. I'd love for you to vote and/or leave a comment if you can.
